Deja vu

Source: www.logility.com

By the way, I posted an ad on Locanto Singapore looking for a boyfriend for almost 6 months and even now, I still get new guys contacting me. The unfortunate thing is that history keeps repeating and won't stop.

I visited a friend whom I got to befriend while I was in the IMH (short for Institute of Mental Health). NO! I'm not mad. By the way, just for your information, the IMH in Singapore is not just a shelter for the truly mad people, they are also for people with depression. They are also people who are admitted because they want to seek a temporary shelter before going home. All they have to do is to tell the doctors they are mad and they will be admitted. There were also foreign maids who were working in Singapore. If some maid employment agencies found that their maids are seriously homesick, they would send them here too before sending them back to their home country,

So back to my deja vu stories.

The world is awashed with Indians, Bangladeshis and Pakistanis:
I already wrote very clearly that I preferred Chinese man to contact me. However, many men who are browsing the ad simply skip over the details and many Indians, Bangladeshis and Pakistanis living in Singapore contacted me. And even when I told all of them I'm not interested, they are so "sticky" and keep asking me to accept them! I keep praying to God not to send me these men again but my prayers are not answered and history keeps repeating

The world is awashed with divorcees:
Of course, normal single men who have never been married or those who are in a proper marriage would not patronise Locanto Singapore, which is a place for soliciting services. That's why I encountered so many divorcees. This is another thing I don't want to have and I kept praying to all gods to please not let these things ever happen to me again, but they don't seem to hear my prayers and keep sending me divorcees.

The world is awashed with man (married and single) looking for services:
I wrote clearly in my ad that I was looking for a boyfriend to settle down but guys keep contacting me for service. Don't they read?! It happens again and again and I pray to God to stop these fast!

The world is left with men in their late teens, in their early twenties and those more than 40 years old:
I am in my early thirties and I pray to find men in the early thirties as well. But they are missing. I got men as young as 19 years old contacting me to be their girlfriend and guys as old as 50 years old (20 years of age gap!). I have already prayed very hard for God to send me the right person but ... ... sigh!

The world is left with men with no education:
I prayed that I would find a capable men but all I got were men with primary or secondary school education. Recently, there was even a man with a diploma in marketing and had chosen to be a taxi driver as his career. I really do not want to see these men and I prayed hard but God couldn't hear me. My father is a taxi driver and we live a poor life. I do not want to continue to live a poor life. I don't understand why God wants me to punish me sending men to me that will keep me down forever living a lowly life. Please God, hear my prayers please!

Hope these types of incidents will eventually stop soon and I find the right one finally.

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"Ok fuck off"

If you have been following my blog, you will know that I have recently been cheated by a Bangladeshi. He was a nice man apparently, with a mild character and he's actually quite highly educated. He was a university dropout because his mother died and he was much affected. Shortly after that, his brother introduced him to come to Singapore 9 years ago in 2007 and he's been working ever since. In the first 3 months, he was always messaging me and calling me and wanting to meet me. However, suddenly, he no longer called or texted. He even said I was the one supposed to arrange all the dates. He made me wait at the train stations for me and only informed me that he would not meet me up at the agreed time to meet. After many incidents like these, I knew I have been cheated.

I am no interested in Indians and Bangladeshis and generally people with dark skin anymore. I had two disappointments in a row and I didn't think I could take in more. Before this Bangladeshi boyfriend, I had a local Singaporeans Indian boyfriend who thought that it was okay to promise to meet and then cancel the date at the last minute without informing the other party. I cannot take this kind of behaviour as an appropriate way to treat another person.

So, recently you should know that I posted a Locanto ad, announcing to the world I'm looking for a new boyfriend. A lot of guys responded, including many Indians from Singapore, Malaysia and India. 

This guy that I've screenshot above is an Indian from Singapore who currently lives in Malaysia due to his work. I'm really very upset from my past two dating experiences with Indians that I do not really want anymore Indian men in my life. So I just told him I'm not interested and even apologised to him.

I never expected that he would use vulgar language on me.

You Fuck Off Too!

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Black is choosing White but White may not choose Black

Source: www.emirates247.com

The Blacks that I'm referring to are the Indians while the White that I'm referring to are the Chinese. Although I'm just referring to these two ethnic groups, we can definitely extend our thoughts to any pair of ethnic groups.

Whenever people or the media talk about interracial dating, interracial couple and interracial marriage, the words of my cousin would come to my mind easily. My cousin was happily married two years ago and now has just given birth to a baby boy. She achieved her goal. She's a locally-born Chinese and she said other than a Singaporean Chinese, there's no one else she would consider. I don't know why this has to be the case. Perhaps it's fear? Perhaps the determination to preserve one's culture?

For me, I have been an avid music student and recently have started teaching piano as well. I love music and piano. Music can be found everywhere, in every country, every culture and every tribe. Music opens my mind to politics and religions and shows me that music-making is not just and aesthetic pursue but one that is rigged with money, business, royalties, politics and religions. Because music is made everywhere, we music learners have to learn many different languages such as French, German, Italian and Russian. I love the exposure. So I have always been very open-minded about people and cultures and I have chatted and dated men from among local Chinese Singaporeans, Malay Singaporeans and Indian Singaporeans. I have also dated ang-moh (Caucasian) expatriates and recently an Indian expatriate from India. 

Regular surveys among Singaporeans also showed that they prefer to marry within their ethnic group. For certain groups, especially the Malay Muslim community, there's more tendency to marry within the same group because of religious reason which is very difficult to overcome for non-Muslims from other ethnic groups. However, that has not deterred Chinese and Malay Muslim or Indian and Malay Muslim from marrying each other in some cases.

The Indian expatriate which I'm currently dating has told me he has also liked Chinese girls but when he revealed that he was an Indian, the girls immediately stopped communicating with him. He is a worldly man who embraces globalisation and is very open about finding a partner coming from a difference skin colour from him but he found that local Chinese Singaporean women have been very conservative.

Biologically, there's really no difference among people from all over the world. We all belong to the same species and can mate with one another. So the barrier that prevents different ethnic groups from interacting with one another is really artificial. Even if you quote culture, but what culture really is is a set of norms that have been devised by people (again) and conformed over time by the people within that ethnic group.

I can think of another obstacle and that is skin colour. Recently I read news that African women are using all kinds of cream to lighten their skin. It seems lighter skin is preferred over darker skin colour. I don't know if that's exactly what my cousin was thinking or any other Chinese Singaporean girls are thinking. This is something that will take a long time to change because it seems we all have coloured glasses when we look at people. It will take some time for people to realise that skin colour doesn't affect the IQ of their children and for companies to realise that skin colour does not affect competencies.

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