Saturday, September 3, 2016

Black is choosing White but White may not choose Black

Source: www.emirates247.com
The Blacks that I'm referring to are the Indians while the White that I'm referring to are the Chinese. Although I'm just referring to these two ethnic groups, we can definitely extend our thoughts to any pair of ethnic groups.

Whenever people or the media talk about interracial dating, interracial couple and interracial marriage, the words of my cousin would come to my mind easily. My cousin was happily married two years ago and now has just given birth to a baby boy. She achieved her goal. She's a locally-born Chinese and she said other than a Singaporean Chinese, there's no one else she would consider. I don't know why this has to be the case. Perhaps it's fear? Perhaps the determination to preserve one's culture?

For me, I have been an avid music student and recently have started teaching piano as well. I love music and piano. Music can be found everywhere, in every country, every culture and every tribe. Music opens my mind to politics and religions and shows me that music-making is not just and aesthetic pursue but one that is rigged with money, business, royalties, politics and religions. Because music is made everywhere, we music learners have to learn many different languages such as French, German, Italian and Russian. I love the exposure. So I have always been very open-minded about people and cultures and I have chatted and dated men from among local Chinese Singaporeans, Malay Singaporeans and Indian Singaporeans. I have also dated ang-moh (Caucasian) expatriates and recently an Indian expatriate from India. 

Regular surveys among Singaporeans also showed that they prefer to marry within their ethnic group. For certain groups, especially the Malay Muslim community, there's more tendency to marry within the same group because of religious reason which is very difficult to overcome for non-Muslims from other ethnic groups. However, that has not deterred Chinese and Malay Muslim or Indian and Malay Muslim from marrying each other in some cases.

The Indian expatriate which I'm currently dating has told me he has also liked Chinese girls but when he revealed that he was an Indian, the girls immediately stopped communicating with him. He is a worldly man who embraces globalisation and is very open about finding a partner coming from a difference skin colour from him but he found that local Chinese Singaporean women have been very conservative.

Biologically, there's really no difference among people from all over the world. We all belong to the same species and can mate with one another. So the barrier that prevents different ethnic groups from interacting with one another is really artificial. Even if you quote culture, but what culture really is is a set of norms that have been devised by people (again) and conformed over time by the people within that ethnic group.

I can think of another obstacle and that is skin colour. Recently I read news that African women are using all kinds of cream to lighten their skin. It seems lighter skin is preferred over darker skin colour. I don't know if that's exactly what my cousin was thinking or any other Chinese Singaporean girls are thinking. This is something that will take a long time to change because it seems we all have coloured glasses when we look at people. It will take some time for people to realise that skin colour doesn't affect the IQ of their children and for companies to realise that skin colour does not affect competencies.

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