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At this time, by tradition, many Chinese families would be having their reunion dinner. Today, 27 January 2017, is the Chinese New Year Eve. In a few hours' time, the Chinese would send away the monkey year to welcome the new year of rooster. And for the next 2 days, family members would be busy visiting relatives and friends to exchange blessings of good luck and prosperity.
However, in the past few years, some of my Chinese friends have decided to break away from traditions. They went overseas for a holiday trip instead of going around to visit relatives and friends.
Many did so because they are tired of facing and answering questions about when they are going to settle down.
I'm lucky my parents and relatives never ask me about this. I never face any pressure regarding settling down.
Sounds nice right?
But not so.
Beneath the surface, my parents and relatives never think I'm going to be able to settle down. Well, for one thing, none has ever had anything pleasant to say about how I look. I am really not a pretty girl. I have a long face, thin eyebrows, wear specs and might be a tad too thin to be called slim. I don't like to put on makeup (although I know how to put on makeup).
When my younger sister married 7 years ago, my mum had sort of cursed me. She declared that she would never attend another wedding in the family. For my father, he doesn't really care about his children. So whether I'm seeing someone or going to stay single all my life, these matters don't matter to him.
I know many parents and relatives are concerned about our future happiness but sometimes they have to be aware my friends and I are working hard to find that special one who will be willing and compatible enough to stay together. They should be aware that nowadays it's so hard to find one. One reason is because some jobs that people take require them to fly in and out of country every other week. When life is much simpler, it's easier to meet and date. However, life has become much more complex and demanding now and we have sold much of our time to our bosses. The second reason is that people are becoming much more particular. For example, there was a man who told me he didn't go for looks but he needed to see if the face of the woman suits him or not.
As for me, Chinese New Year for the past 2 years was disastrous. They were the worst. How could it not be when I have to deal with arguments, fights, police and police reporting during Chinese New Year? But I was happy at the same time because I stayed with my grandfather. He cared a lot about me.
This year is different. My grandfather had passed away last year in April and he would not be here to celebrate Chinese New Year with me anymore. My younger sister has also divorced last year and she would have no husband to celebrate with too.
So here's my arrangement for Chinese New Year 2017: There will be no visit to relatives' houses. I'm so disappointed in their character. When I needed help, where were they? Only my best friend and business partner was there for me. There will be a visit to my parents' house to pass a red packet each to my mother and father. My mother told me I'm obliged to repay her every cent she has spent on me since I was born before I'm permitted to leave her house. Probably I will be going to my sister's place. Probably my father won't be organising a family reunion dinner or a proper family meal. He never did in the past and probably will not do it now. He never once did anything in his life that brought the family closer together. My Vietnamese best friend, whom I knew since university, would also be going back to Vietnam, So, for the rest of the time, I guess I'll be spending alone.
One last thing: I'm going to pray hard that I will not be getting harassment, threats and physical aggression.
I want to look forward to firing my boss instead, and visiting friends in Australia and New Zealand.
How is your Chinese New Year different from last year?
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How many times have you had the "Why haven't you got married yet?" conversations?"
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