You want to rush?

Dear Mister,

Are you actually interested in getting to know me? Are you interested to seek a girlfriend for yourself too? 

You are acting more like a counsellor than a relationship seeker. I'm not here to seek your advice about how fast I want to find a boyfriend. Anyway, for your info, a friend of mine went out with a guy and she knew within that night itself that he was the one she would marry. Within a week, they married and they have been married ever since for more than a decade. You are here to see if I'm the one for you too, not to give me unwarranted relationship advice.

It's not about how fast or how slow one develops a relationship with another. It's about compatibility, the right one.

And Mister, you are showing me that you are an asshole because you assume that I want to rush to find a relationship without understanding that I have been trying to find a boyfriend for 7 years. Am i not taking my time?

You act as if that you know everything when you actually know nothing about someone else's life. You are too full of yourself. It is preciously because of men like you that girls like me waste our valuable time and valuable youth and have to stay single for such a long time.

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It's just maybe, not an affirmative yes

This guy asked for my preferred time, date, and venue. I regretted telling him my preference because I felt it was a waste of time. What is the point of me telling you my preference when it is your preference that matters more? 

Something is very wrong with the head of this guy. "I don't know that you are so busy." So what was he actually assuming? He was saying "everyone is busy" but then he didn't think I was busy. What's wrong with him? The most important issue is, even if I'm not so busy, does it give you the right to set a date and time to meet and then cancel at the last minute? This guy has already said the date and time are okay for him, only venue was not so convenient. Yet he just unilaterally cancelled the date without proposing another location. What's strange also was that he agreed to the date and time and then at the last minute informed me that it was inconvenient for him. He could have the courtesy and the decency to apologies for inappropriately agreeing to the date and time instead of pushing the blame on me and said the time and date that I proposed was not good for him when he didn't object to it in the first place.

People of course need to work. Are you saying you are a person and needs to work but I'm not a person and doesn't need to work? And yes, I set the area and timing because you asked me to set my preferred time and date. Then you come around and blame me for not setting the date and time that are suitable for you. What a foolish man!

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Bosses somehow knew I was about to meet those guys they hired

Source: 123rf.com

Every time I made an appointment with a guy to meet with, it was almost always cancelled at the last minute.

There are two ways to think about this. One is the positive way of thinking and the other is a negative way to think. The positive thing could be God telling me this guy is not suitable for me and so He has arranged me not to meet with this guy. (My musing: if that is case, why God arranges for this guy to see my ad in the first place? He might as well not let me cross my path with this guy at all!)

The negative way to think God is telling me that relationship is something not meant for me and I better give it up the soonest that I can and forget about this kind of thing completely.

This was just many of the last minute cancellation I had, due to bosses suddenly telling them to work.

I had already confirmed the date one night before. Yet, on the day itself, I had to call him up and ask him where he was. It was then that he told me he was in a meeting and wasn't coming. I understand that everyone is busy with their job but at least one should have the courtesy to inform the other party if he or she cannot make it! This is basic courtesy.

This guy totally cannot understand English. I told him precisely everyone is busy that's why there's this thing called schedule. This guy knows his schedule is not fixed and still dare to fix an appointment thinking that it's okay to cancel at the last minute and the other is obliged to understand him, as if everyone else has nothing better to do!

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Don't ever find a girlfriend when you are sick

Source: http://www.storydose.com/

When I put up an ad in Locanto looking for a boyfriend, a very nice-looking, friendly, approachable and humble man responded. He was not as highly educated as me but he could speak English very well and had a good job. But he was at that time on long-term sick leave and was recuperating at home. But he told me he was alright already and just had to go for one final checkup.

However, he didn't message me after a long time. Eventually I found out that he was re-hospitalised because of wound infection. I was a bit angry and I didn't contact him after that because he needed to rest and it wouldn't be possible for us to chat or even go out dating.

So I told him to focus on getting well and not to think about us dating.

I really hope that my life is something like my cousin or many of my friends. They married young able-bodied man who are about the same age as them. Many of the 200+ guys who contacted my through Locanto are too young (about twenty years old) or too old (more than 45 years old), smoke and drink, are sexual perverts who are out looking for girls who provide sex services, or too chauvinistic. The low-hanging fruits are gone and I'm left finding good apples high up on the trees. It's an uphill battle. Where are the men?!

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"Ok fuck off"

If you have been following my blog, you will know that I have recently been cheated by a Bangladeshi. He was a nice man apparently, with a mild character and he's actually quite highly educated. He was a university dropout because his mother died and he was much affected. Shortly after that, his brother introduced him to come to Singapore 9 years ago in 2007 and he's been working ever since. In the first 3 months, he was always messaging me and calling me and wanting to meet me. However, suddenly, he no longer called or texted. He even said I was the one supposed to arrange all the dates. He made me wait at the train stations for me and only informed me that he would not meet me up at the agreed time to meet. After many incidents like these, I knew I have been cheated.

I am no interested in Indians and Bangladeshis and generally people with dark skin anymore. I had two disappointments in a row and I didn't think I could take in more. Before this Bangladeshi boyfriend, I had a local Singaporeans Indian boyfriend who thought that it was okay to promise to meet and then cancel the date at the last minute without informing the other party. I cannot take this kind of behaviour as an appropriate way to treat another person.

So, recently you should know that I posted a Locanto ad, announcing to the world I'm looking for a new boyfriend. A lot of guys responded, including many Indians from Singapore, Malaysia and India. 

This guy that I've screenshot above is an Indian from Singapore who currently lives in Malaysia due to his work. I'm really very upset from my past two dating experiences with Indians that I do not really want anymore Indian men in my life. So I just told him I'm not interested and even apologised to him.

I never expected that he would use vulgar language on me.

You Fuck Off Too!

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Many Calls This Month From Dating Agencies

Dating Consultant. Image Source: Business Insider

This is the month of August 2016 and I have received 2 marketing calls from 2 different dating agencies, one from eSynchrony and another from LunchActually.

I didn't receive any calls from any dating agencies since the beginning of the year and yet now, within the same month, within a span of 2 weeks.

Maybe my name and contact number are on a calling list which is currently being circulated through different dating agencies now and the telemarketers have just reached my name.

I turned all of them down. I no longer feel dating companies offer any hope for me. They kept telling me that the fees they charge justify the database they have but having a good database has nothing to do with successful matching.

If the match fails, you lose both money and time.

I strongly encourage you to use dating apps like Tinder or Paktor or put up a free ad looking for a boyfriend at online classifieds. They are free. So even if you don't find someone suitable at the moment, you don't suffer from financial loss.

No doubt some people have found success and true love with the help of dating agencies.

At least for me, they are no longer my option anymore.

Make your own decision today.

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I can't promise that I can meet you for dinner because ...

"I can't promise you I can meet you next Tuesday night for dinner because I might need to work over time."

A guy told me the exacts words above in a Whatsapp message.

Here's his Modus Operandi: he would ask me when I could meet him. I would then tell him the date and time (usually evenings after my work on weekdays as I need to give full day tuition classes to my students). But he would then say he couldn't determine whether he would have to work overtime. He even asked whether I needed to do overtime (meaning that I should be understanding that he has work commitment to meet).

If I could have the permission to be aggressive, I would give me a slap on his face.

Sure, sometime I have to work overtime. But when I promise someone I would meet with him, I would make sure that I finish my work fast that day so that I don't have to cancel my appointment. I would even decline work and tell my boss I would work on it the next day instead as I already had an appointment. This is time management.

After two re-arrangement of times and dates, I stopped contacting him. I am scared of this type of guy. If I met with an accident, would he say, "I don't know if I can visit you in hospital because I don't know if I need to work overtime."? Or, if I'm giving birth, would he say, "I don't know if I can see the birth of our child because I don't know if I need to work overtime."?

This guy definitely doesn't feel that he can control his own time. What makes him think he can handle a relationship and subsequently a marriage when he cannot even manage this small part of his life?

Whether you have time or not is a matter of commitment, not whether you have this or that work to do. Everyone has work. Everyone has some overtime to do. But why is it that you are the only one who cannot be certain you can turn up on an evening for dinner?

That is why I'm furious. I find that his logic is very silly.

Why doesn't he just say:

I can't marry you because I cannot be sure whether I will divorce you.
I can't have kids with you because I cannot be sure whether I will have time for them.
I can't meet your friends because I cannot be sure whether they will like me.

Just for Laughs! But I'm serious seriously too.

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