Thursday, September 29, 2016

Are you okay with a simple dinner?



"Just a simple dinner will do"

"you dun mind a simple dinner right?"

I told this guy I didn't understand what he meant.

Throughout my 31 years of life, I have never had a single complicated or complex dinner in my life.

Every meal that I have, whether it's breakfast, lunch, tea-break, dinner or supper, is always simple.

He asked not once but twice whether it would be okay to have a "simple" dinner.

Sigh.........................................................................................................................

Maybe he thought I needed something else (you know what I mean) besides eating.

I sincerely pray that the actual dinner would not be so bad. I will give you an update on it. Stay tuned.

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Monday, September 26, 2016

Really want to trust you, but ... ...

Source: Pinterest
Men, I really want to trust you. I have still not given up hope of finding a life partner. But I'm really encountering a lot of obstacles. You have not given me enough evidence that I can trust you and just simply demanded me to trust you when I don't even know you.

On 13 September 2016, a guy contacted me via WeChat and said that he was "sincere about me". Yet, when I sent him my photo and gave him a few details such as my age and career, he did not even reply me and straightaway remove me from his contact list.

How I know that?

Because I was waiting for him to get back to me on when he wanted to meet. When I didn't get the message, I sent him a message to probe his interest but my message didn't get through because WeChat prompted me to send him a friend request to him in order for the message to get through.

So this guy isn't that "sincere about me" at all! It was pure gibberish.

P.S. I was so angry I deleted the entire WeChat messages that I exchanged with him. So I will leave it to your imagination to figure out the process between us.

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Friday, September 23, 2016

Sham marriages? No, now Sham divorces

Source: www.womenofchina.cn
In  some countries, people have sham marriages in order to gain certain benefits like citizenship but in some, people file sham divorces in order to also gain certain financial benefits.

I don't know what to think and what to say.

Everything is so linked to money. Everything is so commercialised. Even marriage, which is a kind of fundamental social relationship, is not spared. What these incidents tell me are people increasingly treat marriage/divorce/relationship as a tool to be exploited for gain.

Since 30 March 2015, in Shenzhen, China, there are curbs limiting married couples to buying two properties only. By divorcing, these couples made themselves eligible again as purchases of properties.

Maybe I'm still very idealistic to think that marriage is an expression of love and it is an important relationship that should be influenced by the love and care between a couple and should not be so tied-up with external things.

I'm very disappointed with the way things are going. We are losing true love, true care and concern, not just between humans but also with our natural environment,

Do read more about this matter from Singapore-based TODAY newspaper, "To get Shenzhen homes, buyers turn to sham divorces".

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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Different, different, but same


There was a Singapore politician (ex current Manpower Minister Lim Swee Say) [A reader pointed out to me that I got my fact wrong! He should be the current not ex minister. I'm so sorry I didn't check before writing this and my memory has failed me! This is no laughing matter! Apologies.]who once made such a comment, "We are same-same but different." This isn't a grammatically-correct sentence but let's not distract us from the meaning he was attempting to convey. He was basically trying to tell the Singapore masses that although they were all Singaporeans, but there are some differences, such as social class, race, and economic status.

So, I made a complete spin on his famous phrase "same-same but different", coming up with "different-different but same" to share with you the latest dating nightmare I've experienced.

Every time I meet a really good guy, I always thought, "Yes! Finally, I'm going to settle down this time." But it always ends abruptly and I don't know why. This screenshot was taken very recently, as you can see the date was not even reflected yet. The date was 14 September 2016, Wednesday.

The week before that, I was still chatting with this guy and "kiss" goodnight through WeChat. I already knew him for about a month! However, just a week a later, he suddenly blocked me (or perhaps deleted me from his contact list) and my messages couldn't be sent through anymore. I have to send to friend request to him and only after he accepts it will I only be able to chat with him again.

I have so many of such cases before where guys disappeared suddenly without any word and I don't know why! He told me he was not such a person and repeatedly asked me to trust him. He was always very angry when I compared his behaviour to those men I met before him. In the end, he is a different man from others, but still the same too.

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Saturday, September 17, 2016

"Ok fuck off"

If you have been following my blog, you will know that I have recently been cheated by a Bangladeshi. He was a nice man apparently, with a mild character and he's actually quite highly educated. He was a university dropout because his mother died and he was much affected. Shortly after that, his brother introduced him to come to Singapore 9 years ago in 2007 and he's been working ever since. In the first 3 months, he was always messaging me and calling me and wanting to meet me. However, suddenly, he no longer called or texted. He even said I was the one supposed to arrange all the dates. He made me wait at the train stations for me and only informed me that he would not meet me up at the agreed time to meet. After many incidents like these, I knew I have been cheated.

I am no interested in Indians and Bangladeshis and generally people with dark skin anymore. I had two disappointments in a row and I didn't think I could take in more. Before this Bangladeshi boyfriend, I had a local Singaporeans Indian boyfriend who thought that it was okay to promise to meet and then cancel the date at the last minute without informing the other party. I cannot take this kind of behaviour as an appropriate way to treat another person.

So, recently you should know that I posted a Locanto ad, announcing to the world I'm looking for a new boyfriend. A lot of guys responded, including many Indians from Singapore, Malaysia and India. 

This guy that I've screenshot above is an Indian from Singapore who currently lives in Malaysia due to his work. I'm really very upset from my past two dating experiences with Indians that I do not really want anymore Indian men in my life. So I just told him I'm not interested and even apologised to him.

I never expected that he would use vulgar language on me.

You Fuck Off Too!

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Saturday, September 3, 2016

Black is choosing White but White may not choose Black

Source: www.emirates247.com
The Blacks that I'm referring to are the Indians while the White that I'm referring to are the Chinese. Although I'm just referring to these two ethnic groups, we can definitely extend our thoughts to any pair of ethnic groups.

Whenever people or the media talk about interracial dating, interracial couple and interracial marriage, the words of my cousin would come to my mind easily. My cousin was happily married two years ago and now has just given birth to a baby boy. She achieved her goal. She's a locally-born Chinese and she said other than a Singaporean Chinese, there's no one else she would consider. I don't know why this has to be the case. Perhaps it's fear? Perhaps the determination to preserve one's culture?

For me, I have been an avid music student and recently have started teaching piano as well. I love music and piano. Music can be found everywhere, in every country, every culture and every tribe. Music opens my mind to politics and religions and shows me that music-making is not just and aesthetic pursue but one that is rigged with money, business, royalties, politics and religions. Because music is made everywhere, we music learners have to learn many different languages such as French, German, Italian and Russian. I love the exposure. So I have always been very open-minded about people and cultures and I have chatted and dated men from among local Chinese Singaporeans, Malay Singaporeans and Indian Singaporeans. I have also dated ang-moh (Caucasian) expatriates and recently an Indian expatriate from India. 

Regular surveys among Singaporeans also showed that they prefer to marry within their ethnic group. For certain groups, especially the Malay Muslim community, there's more tendency to marry within the same group because of religious reason which is very difficult to overcome for non-Muslims from other ethnic groups. However, that has not deterred Chinese and Malay Muslim or Indian and Malay Muslim from marrying each other in some cases.

The Indian expatriate which I'm currently dating has told me he has also liked Chinese girls but when he revealed that he was an Indian, the girls immediately stopped communicating with him. He is a worldly man who embraces globalisation and is very open about finding a partner coming from a difference skin colour from him but he found that local Chinese Singaporean women have been very conservative.

Biologically, there's really no difference among people from all over the world. We all belong to the same species and can mate with one another. So the barrier that prevents different ethnic groups from interacting with one another is really artificial. Even if you quote culture, but what culture really is is a set of norms that have been devised by people (again) and conformed over time by the people within that ethnic group.

I can think of another obstacle and that is skin colour. Recently I read news that African women are using all kinds of cream to lighten their skin. It seems lighter skin is preferred over darker skin colour. I don't know if that's exactly what my cousin was thinking or any other Chinese Singaporean girls are thinking. This is something that will take a long time to change because it seems we all have coloured glasses when we look at people. It will take some time for people to realise that skin colour doesn't affect the IQ of their children and for companies to realise that skin colour does not affect competencies.

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