People take relationship very lightly in these days

Source: https://wall.alphacoders.com/

As I was still receiving Whatsapp messages from men who saw my ads on Locanto, and as I was in a relatively steady relationship with my boyfriend, I decided to expire those ads. Still, I receive messages now and then but much fewer now though.

I found that there were some men who took relationship so lightly. The first question can ask is: Can I be your boyfriend? Or, can you be my girlfriend?

Come on. You and I don't know each other and you think I'm just going to say YES?

These guys don't know what relationship is and are looking for instant condiments to quickly flavour their taste buds.

In this age of rapid technological development, we are always told to change things quickly, to look forward and adapt to survive. I agree to change, if is it good for us.

However, good relationship is something I won't compromise. It has been shown that have good relationships maintain the harmony and stability of society, helping to reduce mental problems. I would say I won't want to have any changes to the basic nature of relationship.

Relationship needs to be taken seriously. It needs time to nurture and develop. If there's one thing in this world that shouldn't change, relationship will be the one.

I look forward to a world where people take time away from work more often to spend the limited time they have with their family, loved ones and good friends.

If you like my blog, remember to follow the link to my eBook at Amazon at the sidebar of this blog!

Like what you read? Why not share it with your friends in your favourite social network? Click one of the social media buttons below to start sharing. Do you have similar stories? Use the "Contact Me!" contact form in the side bar and tell me more about it.

If you like this blog, subscribe to my newsletter! Click this link.
Read my eBook too. Download "Dating Nightmares in a Metropolitan City" here!

"money is the most important thing"

It's 2nd May, one day after Labour Day. I hope you have a good day of rest for the past 1 year of hard work. If you are reading this post, thank you very much for your attention and time. I hope it may amuse you a little and make your day a little funnier with anecdotes from my dating experiences.

How can money be THE MOST important thing?

It IS IMPORTANT, but not the most important.

Money can support healthy relationship by bringing food to family, paying for the utilities and house loan so that a family can have a proper place to stay and have the means to sustain itself.

However, there are intangibles to the quality of a relationship such as love and care that money alone cannot provide. Love and care are independent of money and can be provided even when a family is poor.

I'm sorry, you are not the type of guy I'm seeking.

Do you agree that this guy is right? What is your philosophy about relationship? Leave a comment below.

If you like my blog, remember to follow the link to my eBook at Amazon at the sidebar of this blog!

Like what you read? Why not share it with your friends in your favourite social network? Click one of the social media buttons below to start sharing. Do you have similar stories? Use the "Contact Me!" contact form in the side bar and tell me more about it.

If you like this blog, subscribe to my newsletter! Click this link.
Read my eBook too. Download "Dating Nightmares in a Metropolitan City" here!

Why can't guys just say the truth?

Source: Twitter

This will just be a very short post.

If they are not interested, why can't they just say it out instead of suddenly disappearing without a word? Why they act more like gentlemen?

They want girls to figure out their intentions by themselves?

This is not just an act of rudeness, but of arrogance and cowardice, thinking that it's the girls who should be responsible for navigating every point in the development of relationship.

If you like my blog, remember to follow the link to my eBook at Amazon at the sidebar of this blog!

Like what you read? Why not share it with your friends in your favourite social network? Click one of the social media buttons below to start sharing. Do you have similar stories? Use the "Contact Me!" contact form in the side bar and tell me more about it.

If you like this blog, subscribe to my newsletter! Click this link.
Read my eBook too. Download "Dating Nightmares in a Metropolitan City" here!

Write it all down

Write. Don't Type.

When I visited my friend Helen last year in October 2016 and I told that I was prepared to stay single my whole life because at 31 years old and after nearly 7 years of searching, I still couldn't find a boyfriend, I told her maybe God had decided to give me a life path different from other women. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have someone in my life to spend the rest of my life with.

She was shocked. She told him not to say those kind of things. She was confident I would be able to find one soon.

She was a devout Christian because she had experienced God performing miracles on her, saving her from medical conditions and from complicated lawsuits. So she shared with me a lovely story that happened to one of her church friends,

This church friend of hers was a lady and she had a daughter who had problems initially finding a boyfriend. This mother was very concerned. She decided to write down all the desirable characteristics she wanted to see in her future son-in-law and she prayed hard very day for a man with all those qualities to appear soon. True enough, her prayers were listened. Within a year, this man came, with all the exact qualities that she had written down.

So she advised me to do the same, to write down all the qualities I wanted and to have a strong faith and belief that this man would appear. She told me there was power in writing down using pena nd paper and warned me not to type into a computer. She told me that all those relationships and terrible dates that I had been too were not meant for me. She told me when a relationship was the right one, everything would flow smoothly.

Actually I had already had a list of characteristics that I saved in my smartphone. But I did as she told, reluctantly, as I did not have a strong faith I would find one as my age was really catching up with. Nevertheless, I felt I had to give myself a try, another chance.

Still, time passed, month after month. Two months later, in December 2016, I met a guy who really came out and met me. He never cancelled dates at the last minute. We went out for dinners and lunches and toured museums together. He was a matured man. One month later in January this year, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I said yes.

Wow, so it does work!

Write yours too!

If you like my blog, remember to follow the link to my eBook at Amazon at the sidebar of this blog!

Like what you read? Why not share it with your friends in your favourite social network? Click one of the social media buttons below to start sharing. Do you have similar stories? Use the "Contact Me!" contact form in the side bar and tell me more about it.

If you like this blog, subscribe to my newsletter! Click this link.
Read my eBook too. Download "Dating Nightmares in a Metropolitan City" here!

We're not meant to be

There are some girls in this world who can find boyfriends very easily. In the past, I have heard conversations on the trains when I was commuting that that so-and-so girl broke up with her ex-boyfriend the previous week but found a new one the next.

I often listened to stories with envy.

How can a girl find a compatible guy so quickly? Are there always so many compatible guys around her? Why is she so lucky to have these guys around her for her to pick and choose?

As I get to know more guys, I find that there are so many factors to consider.

For example, one of the examples is his education background. I don't discriminate potential partners according to their education background. This is why I chat with men with primary school education, secondary school, high school education, degree holders like me, or even those who have higher degrees. Education is only one aspect of a person. It is not enough to know an entire person. There are successful businessmen who have very little formal education. So, I don't see education as the most important criterion. However, I find that the way men who have at least a high school education or polytechnic education will have a similar world view as I and that scores a point in evaluating whether we are compatible with each other.

Another factor is their professions. In general, certain kinds of jobs attract people with certain characters. For example, sales & marketing people are more extrovert and impatient. I'm an introvert but I don't mind going out with an extrovert. But some men are very particular about whether a girl is extrovert or introvert. So this can make or break a conversation.

The third factor is their personality and the way they talk with you. These give you a hint of their true character. There are some men who don't know how to talk or who are not sincere in the way they communicate. There are some men who talk nonsense. Guys who are compatible with you make your day when you talk to him

The fourth is having common goals and dreams. I think one reason why my current boyfriend has chosen me to be his girlfriend is because we both have dreams of wanting to earn big money and give our parents a good life. We both want to have children. We both place equal importance on family and career. We aim to leave corporate one day.

The fifth is family background. Different kinds of family raise children with different habits. In my family, I'm taught to repair and reuse old stuff until they have absolutely no value. However, some man may be disgusted with this kind of practice. To me, this kind of habit is normal and looking at the big picture, it can help us to reduce waste and spend less money. Some people always like to have new stuff. My current boyfriend came from a poor childhood as well, so we are very careful when buying and using stuff.

The sixth is time, that is, his availability. Availability is a measure of his sincerity. In all the past relationships, I have to beg the guy to meet me. Like a female friend who told me recently, the right guy would be someone where everything ran smoothly. For while, I didn't believe her. But now, I do. I do not have to beg my current boyfriend to meet me. He took the initiative to ask me out for dinners. He took the initiative to invite me to join his family for dinner. He asked me about my day. He's genuinely interested in whatever I'm doing. Whenever I want to go out during the weekend, he would join me. We trekked in the nature reserves and strolled in various parks together.

The final one is comfort. How he looks, how he carries himself, how he talks to you and other people. The combined feeling of all the factors above.

I understand some of us are not meant to be together. If so, say so and don't beat around the bush.

We're not meant to be. Took this guy two weeks to reveal his true intentions. All the time I thought we were okay.

Had a difficult time talking with this guy. I told him I started a Facebook fan page to promote travelling to Singapore. Who do you think the target audience of my fan page will be? It is travellers from other countries outside of Singapore that I'm looking at. However, this guy was telling there's such a small population in Singapore and questioning me the value of gathering many likes on the fan page. I told him this is not for Singapore people. It's for people all over the world and there are 7 billion people. Yet, he was telling me that having 100 likes on the page is having too many followers. He's not making sense. Of course, we cannot continue our conversation anymore from that point.

This guy doesn't have time for building a relationship. He's not ready yet he still wants to contact me. I told him not to waste his or mine time. This guy has not heart and space in his life for relationship. Even though he has already built up the foundation for his career, he continued to pour his time and effort into it. One day, when he retires, he will realise that his job is gone and he has no one by his side to share his life with. He will realise then that he's blinded by career and money.

I know what you are thinking and that is why you are pissed off

Source: http://memecrunch.com/

"If u think so then.bye"

Excuse me Mr. Kelvin, if you are not thinking of sex, why is that all the things you are asking are sexually related? Yet, you are angry with me for commenting that you are only seeking a sexual relationship.

You asked me if I liked to be hugged and kissed. You talked about licking the neck and ears. You talked about having regular sex and making love. You don't need a girlfriend to satisfy you in all these. You can simply get an escort!

Never once you ask about my life, about my interests, about my dreams, about my family.

So be it, bye. Because anyway, you don't really show you really care about my life at all.

Selfie of Mr. Kelvin

Mr. Kelvin was asking about whether I had good figure and was romantic (a man's euphemism for asking for intimacy) 

Mr. Kelvin offered to guide about how to make love

Mr. Kelvin simplistically thought that relationship was only about passion and love.

Mr. Kelvin went straight to the point and talked about hugging, kissing and making love!

If you like my blog, remember to follow the link to my eBook at Amazon at the sidebar of this blog!

Like what you read? Why not share it with your friends in your favourite social network? Click one of the social media buttons below to start sharing. Do you have similar stories? Use the "Contact Me!" contact form in the side bar and tell me more about it.

If you like this blog, subscribe to my newsletter! Click this link.
Read my eBook too. Download "Dating Nightmares in a Metropolitan City" here!

Stereotyping An Introvert When Seeking a Relationship

Image Source: YouTube

After I posted an ad on Locanto Singapore website advertising that I'm looking for a boyfriend, I have been getting contacted by guys on a regular basis. It wasn't that bad after all. Only one or two are looking for sex. The rest are looking for real genuine long-term relationship that may lead to a marriage.

I was chatting with guy who worked in the central business district near Tanjong Pagar.

He was messaging me during working hours and sarcastically commented that I was "so busy that I didn't answer him?"

I replied with frustration asking him whether "it is right for someone not to be focus on his or her work during work hours."

He then apologised and said he meant no harm.

Next, he noticed that I didn't talk a lot and he texted me, "You are rather quiet."

I admitted to him. I told him I'm more a doer than a talker.

He then made a casual remark, "I hope you are not an introvert".

I think he doesn't mean to be offensive, but it really came as quite offensive to me.

So I told him off. I said, "I am an introvert. And I am a proud introvert. But I'm not the extreme type of introvert. Most people have a mix of introvert and extrovert qualities. Nobody is a pure extrovert or introvert."

He knew I was serious. So he replied, "No offence. I mean no harm."

In my daily life, I make friends with all types of people, both extroverts and introverts. Why do we want to make such a distinction? I don't understand. We are all humans and we are all equally valuable. Each life is unique. To classify people is a demeaning thing to do.

There are both good qualities in both extroverts and introverts. Two extroverts or two introverts can be couple, while an extrovert and an introvert can also be a potential couple as well. I have read and seen many kinds of couples.

I don't know why people have a problem with introverts. Are we from another planet? Do we look very differently from other people? We are as qualified as other women who are extroverts.

My answer to people who have issues with introverts will always be this: I am an introvert and a proud introvert because many outstanding introverts have changed the world and I'm 100 percent sure that there is nothing wrong with us.

If you like my blog, remember to follow the link to my eBook at Amazon at the sidebar of this blog!

Like what you read? Why not share it with your friends in your favourite social network? Click one of the social media buttons below to start sharing. Do you have similar stories? Use the "Contact Me!" contact form in the side bar and tell me more about it.

If you like this blog, subscribe to my newsletter! Click this link.
Read my eBook too. Download "Dating Nightmares in a Metropolitan City" here!

What To Do When You Finally Meet The Right Guy After Years of Fake Relationships

quotesgram.com

For the past 7 years, I have been trying to find a boyfriend. But every year, I would meet with a failure. I always ended up meeting up a cheat. One of the cheats was even recommended by a close associate in work. Every year, I would set higher bars and more criteria to determine the fake men from the real men but every year, smarter and smarter men broke my criteria and got into a fake relationship with me.

Why do I say "fake"?

My very first fake relationship came from a guy I knew in Friendster, an outdated social network website now. He said he just broke up with his girlfriend and emphasised that he's single. For a few weeks, we met and he would always bring me to secluded places so that he could touch me all over my body. I was innocent, you see. He said he's teaching me how to be intimate with men. He was working as a young assistant mechanical engineer at a big local engineering firm and was enrolled in a degree program for mechanical engineering at Kaplan. For a few times, I helped him with his course assignment. Only after a few months later, I found he updated his profile picture which showed a picture of him hugging a girl. I questioned him immediately and he never spoke to me thereafter.

On and off, I went for many dates before a close associate at work introduced me to a young colleague that had joined his team. He added me on WeChat and started chatting with me. I was attracted by his humour. He was telling me all the nice things that you would expect a guy to shower you with when they started pursuing you as a date, so I wasn't aware of his true motive. Moreover, this was a guy introduced by an associate I knew. What harm could there be? I was very trustful of the start of a relationship between us. We went for lunch once at Subway where he gave me a Subway treat. He asked me whether I like to travel to Malaysia. I said I would love to but wasn't familiar as I only went to Malaysia in my lifetime. He was telling me that he "would soon bring me there". After a few months of knowing him, I decided I wanted to leave the company and seek employment with a new company. He said he would continue to come and "find me" after I left the company. Yes, he continued to communicate with me on WeChat after I left the company and I asked him about the Malaysian weekend trip again. He continued to say "soon" as he was still busy with project requirements and he said it would end soon. And I continued to wait patiently. However, after waiting for weeks, I saw an update on his Facebook photo album with pictures taken at Malaysia's Johor Bahru's Legoland theme park with a young lady and another middle-aged woman who looked like his auntie. He appeared very close to the young lady. I questioned about it and told him I was upset because he had been telling me we would travel to Legoland together soon. He told me he was sorry and he "hadn't meant to upset me".

AS IF I'M GOING TO BELIEVE HE'S SINCERELY SORRY WHAT HE HAD JUST DONE!!!

Then at this social network website called Twoo, I got to know a Vietnamese professional working in Singapore as a senior civil engineer. He had been involved in the construction project of our Singapore Indoor Stadium where it recently held the 2016 Singapore National Day Parade for its 51st year of independence. When we first started dating together, he shared with me that every month, he would make a trip back to Vietnam to visit his critically-ill father. After about 6 months, he suddenly stop communicating with me. After about a month without any news from him, he suddenly set me a message through Skype. I asked him where he was and he told me he was in Australia enrolled in a Master degree course. I was shocked that he was gone just like that. I was his girlfriend and how could he do such a thing? He said that a few weeks ago his father had died and he quit his job and flew back to Vietnam to pay his last respect for his father. After that, he flew straight to Australia. I told him even if his father had died, there was no need for him to quit his job and go Australia. I told him he should have consulted me about his decision. I was furious that I wasn't treated like a girlfriend because he made his decisions unilaterally without informing me. I was asking, "What the hell is this?" Moreover, he told me to quit my job, give up everything in Singapore and join him there in Australia immediately as a "poor student". What kind of boyfriend would want his girlfriend a hard life? That's how I ended the relationship with him. I deleted his phone number from my mobile phone and deleted his detail from my Skype contact list.

Then I had one "relationship" on Facebook, which I quickly realised was a scam because I was asked for money for a gift parcel to be sent to me.

Then I got to know a real local Indian guy through Facebook. Initially it was alright. He was a Hindu and a vegetarian. But he expected to me to buy him meals every time because he said he did not have any on-going projects in his business and thus didn't have extra income. That still hadn't reached my tolerance limit. The worst was when I called him one evening after my tuition class and we agreed to meet the next day for dinner. But when the next evening arrived and he didn't appear at our meetup place, I called him and he said he was at the National Day Rehearsal and having a great time and wouldn't be meeting him. I then scolded him and said he should have informed me earlier when he changed his decision and shouldn't have waited for me to call him up when I was already waiting at the agreed place to meet him up. He was angry that I shouted at him. I demanded for an apology and he asked "what wrong has he done?" He said I was making a fuss out of something so minor. He didn't like me and he stopped contacting me and never bothered to official declare he wanted a breakup. So far, all the guys I had met till then didn't want to say breakup. They just stopped contacting when they didn't feel like it!

Then I got to know another guy also from Facebook. He was from Bangladesh and was a skilled worker in Singapore in the construction industry. He was gentle. He was enthusiastic in the beginning and kept meeting me up for dinner. We went to Johor Bahru together and had quiet moments together in several parks here in Singapore. I thought he was a genuine man and would be my last boyfriend. But after about 3 months, he said he had a new project. The project lasts for 18 months and he would be working everyday. He now expected me to pay for my own meals and for me to arrange meetup. He said I should be the one to arrange dates not him. So I said okay. Then when I arranged the dates, he would not turn up. I would always have to call him to ask him where he was. The frustrating thing was he didn't pick up the call immediately. It was always after half an hour or an hour of waiting that he then SMS me to tell me to "go home first". I would keep calling him until he picked up and scold him. He would say I was sick. I was so frustrated. He was the one who played foul and why did I have to be labelled as a "sick" person? So this happened every month until last month I couldn't stand it anymore and sent him the most number of SMSes with messages such as "son of a bitch", "asshole", "cheat" and so on. Today he has blocked me from his contact list totally.

So then, a few earlier, I posted an ad in Locanto Singapore website advertising that I'm looking for a boyfriend to settle down. I was contacted by an IT professional from India. I have met him once already at this time of writing. He seemed genuine and I really wanted to trust him. I said I would take my time to ascertain the relationship because I didn't want to fall into traps again. He was quite unhappy about it and said I shouldn't let my past experience affect this new relationship. I told him candidly I really have to do it this way because I wanted to protect myself and did not want another fake relationship again. I'm still waiting to see how this relationship would turn out. I only seek his understanding that I would like to take things more slowly and not intending to rush through the relationship (as it happened in all my past failed relationships). I told him it would be okay for him not to continue have contact with me now if he didn't think he wanted to go out with someone with a baggage. He's accepted partially (which makes him even a more genuine person in my view). He said he would show me over time that he was a genuine one. I hope so.

So, that's what I did, be being candid. I think this is the fairest to both parties.

If you like my blog, remember to follow the link to my eBook at Amazon at the sidebar of this blog!

Like what you read? Why not share it with your friends in your favourite social network? Click one of the social media buttons below to start sharing. Do you have similar stories? Use the "Contact Me!" contact form in the side bar and tell me more about it.

If you like this blog, subscribe to my newsletter! Click this link.
Read my eBook too. Download "Dating Nightmares in a Metropolitan City" here!