Dating Advice For A Friend

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A friend told me that our common friend called KL had recently had a new girlfriend but was experiencing a hard time with her.

She likes to throw her temper and is easily upset by the slightest thing that doesn't meet her expectations. For example, she recently boarded a bus with KL and complained about the odour in the bus and was upset with KL that he made her board the bus.

KL's new girlfriend is ten years younger than him. She was from a divorced family and lived with her mother.

My friend told me KL was desperate to have a girlfriend because all his friends are already married or engaged.

My advice to KL:

1. Don't get a girlfriend out of desperation
Remember, if your eventual aim is to get married, and if what you are experiencing now is already unbearable, thinking about experiencing it for the rest of your life with her. If you don't envision that kind of life, it's better to get out of the relationship. It's better to be single than be in a wrong relationship.

2. Know what you want
KL, you have to sit down by yourself, alone, and think about what kind of wife you want. Does your current girlfriend show some of the characteristics you want for a wife? Even if you can tolerate, do you think she's mature enough to be the mother of your future children?

3. Act out of your true needs, not because of vanity
Relationship is a last time. If you have a girlfriend just to be able to be confident around your male friends, that means it's your face and ego more important than a good and healthy relationship.

4. Reflect on your pattern
KL, I knew from my friend that this is not the first time you have such kind of girlfriend. You should be aware that you may be falling into a particular pattern. I heard that you did not have a good relationship with your mother and knowing that your girlfriend came from a divorced family, she might harbour a dislike for her father. You tend to take up a girlfriend who would also scold you and was unappreciative of you. You need to be aware of this and stop the pattern now. Read my post on Alon Gratch's book "If Love Could Think".

5. Improve on your self-esteem
KL, did you take up your current and past girlfriends because you think too lowly of yourself? Why do you have to make yourself in a relationship? Do you feel not good about yourself? It would be good take up some courses, could be academic, or personal development, to improve on your life-skills and career, so that you develop more self-confidence and self-esteem. When the quality of yourself increases, you can attract better quality girlfriends.

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