The only thing that women need to succeed in this world: it's not good education

First, let me define what success means to me, because success means different things to different women and with a proper definition, I can set the table straight.

To me, these are what I think being a successful woman means to to me:

1. Highly educated (at least a degree) or being accomplished in a vocation/professions/business
2. Have as many positive, sincere, and genuine lifetime friends
3. Have good family relationships.
4. Have a good marriage and raise good kids
5. Contribute actively to the improvement of certain disadvantaged communities
6. Being able to do what she's passionate about at all times

I really naively thought that being educated, being informed about the world was the most important thing and would allow me to achieve the rest of the five points. In my whole life, I have been pursuing more and more education so that I can understand the truth about how the world really works and stop being ignorant (my Junior College English teacher has used this word to comment a lot on my argumentative essays and it spurred me to read the newspapers and current affairs books voraciously, eventually I passed with A). But it is not this way in the real world, at least from what I have experienced.

On Friends...
I feel very fortunate to have a few steadfast friends who are always there to push me to higher grounds, always daring to become better, move out of my comfort zone, and to always be seeking new knowledge and skills and seeking out new experiences. However, many more are those who only care for themselves. This happens not only among friends, but my close relatives as well. These people expect you to help them when they need help but when you ask them for them another time, they will come up with many excuses why they can't do it.

On Family Relationships...
If I had known earlier how my mum thinks, maybe I would never have pushed myself so hard to learn. I have only one sibling, my younger sister who has only completed some basic vocational training. Thus, she could only work in jobs that offer lower salary. On the other hand, because I have a degree, I could work in jobs that offer higher salary. Because of this, my mother told me my sister did not have to give her allowance but I had to. I was very furious because I thought that we very unfair and we had a lot of arguments and fights that remained unresolved even now.

On Marriage...
I can't even talk about marriage. Because I only have some brains but with no looks, this is still out of reach for me. A friend of mine, who is a devoted Christian, shared with me that she has church friend who is a mum. She wrote down all the qualities she wanted to see in her future son-in-law and not long after, her daughter indeed met a guy who matched her description 100%! She told me to do the same and pray hard and have a strong faith. I did. Hopefully things will change.

On Social Involvement and Pursuing What I'm Passionate About...
Being a corporate slave, most of my time is sold to my employer and my bosses. There's very leeway to be active in community work and to do what I'm really passionate about (if you are curious what I'm passionate about, I really want to compose music, draw, coach, write my own apps, build robots, and do something to protect the environment and lift people out of poverty).

After looking at two cases, one from my cousin and one from my student's mum, I know this is not true any more.

She is a university-degree holder working in civil service and was advising me to enter the banking industry when there's currently a wave of retrenching sweeping across the industry right now. So what if she's naive and ignorant? With some beauty and good luck, she's in good marriage now. Read a bit more about my cousin's story here.

Read more about what I have to say about my student's mum here.

I think, the most important thing for women to be born with a beautiful face and beautiful figure (it doesn't matter she's an informed or ignorant person) so that she has the luck to find a good man to married to carry on life with ease.

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Education does not save women; Beauty does, Luck does

Source: https://thesocietypages.org

Since I was young, my mother had repeated drilled into my brain that I had to study hard so that I could have a better future.

As I work and observe things around me, I find many different pathways to success.

If you have read my bio at side of this blog, you will know I work as a software developer but I also tutor. There are two reason I do this: a passion for teaching, and also the need to supplement my meagre income. Contrary to what software engineers earn in the USA, which averages USD80,000 to USD100,000, all kinds of engineers in Singapore earn around SGD40,000 to SGD80,000. Things are not so rosy here when it comes to salary.

So, I worked really hard. I was a very obedient child and I listened to every advice my mother gave me. I had a good education. With my excellent primary school results, I was qualified to enter the top 10 secondary schools in Singapore. I had received a very good excellent secondary education and I am very grateful to my alma mater. She has made me bilingual in both English, the language of commerce, and Chinese, the language most dear to me. I then moved on to a good Junior College and then earn a good degree in Computer Engineering in one of the best universities here in Singapore.

Recently, I gave tuition to an eleven-year-old girl. She's a mixed, her father being a Chinese Singaporean while her mother is a Chinese Vietnamese who doesn't know how to speak any English. None! Zero!

Since young, my mother had always told me that English is very important and would secure a better future for me. I often only received a borderline pass for my English, even though I had studied very hard. However, I never gave up and I gradually improved by a lot. Even the founding Prime Minister of Singapore, Lee Kuan Yew, emphasised English language education so much that he converted all schools in Singapore into English schools after Singapore's independence.

Yet, that mastery of English together with a good engineering degree did not give me a good life. I don't live in a landed property. I am not married to a good husband. I don't have any child yet. I don't even have a boyfriend.

So when this girl told me her mum was a Vietnamese who spoke only Chinese and worked in her father's business as an accountant, I was very surprised. Her mum is expecting her fourth child now and her entire family lives in a landed property in East Coast, an estate full of private properties resided by many rich families.

I thought you would not have a good life if you didn't know how to speak English?

Life is not a science. It all depends on your luck or destiny.

So, I got a good education. I got a pretty decent job. However, maybe because of my looks, I got tons and tons of rejections from men. But I got lots and lots of appeals from the Indian and Bangladeshi men. I really have no interest in them. I'm very disappointed that all my good education is only enough to attract Indian and Bangladeshi construction workers. Is that all I deserve after putting in so much hard work in my life?

Just like the Disney princesses, sometimes beauty and luck are just what women need to live their lives like a fairy tale story.

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Beauty and the Beast

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Disney's recreation of the classic fairy tale story "Beauty and the Beast" will be out soon in March 2017. I am looking forward to it very much and I plan to spend ticket money to go to the cinema theatre to watch it. It will be my first movie in a cinema theatre since 3 or 4 years ago. It will star Emma Watson (Belle) and Dan Stevens (Beast). I love this story very much. Even though the last time I watched Disney's animated version of Beauty and the Beast was more than a decade ago when I was a kid, I couldn't forget the story, the beautiful Belle, the monstrous but kind Beast, the romantic love story between them, how the smell was broken by pure and true love and of course, the beautiful music scattered throughout the film composed by the genius Alan Menken.

However, as I try to find love in my own life, I really struggle. Every corner I turn into, I have to face the rejection due to not being very pretty.

I wonder if Beauty is not really a beauty, would her match with the Beast still be a success? If the Beast doesn't find Belle a pretty girl, would he still fall in love with her? If Belle is not the most beautiful girl in town, would the brawny but brainless Gaston still take notice of her?

Belle has been successful finding true love not only because of her good nature, but because of her above-average good looks.

I love this story so much and I thought every girl will have this kind of happy story in her life. I am a bit disillusioned because the stark reality is rather harsh. I overlooked the fact that Belle was a beauty and it would be easier to be successful in finding a man who would love her back.

However, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Because it was God who gave me my looks, there must a good reason for it. I don't think God put me here on Earth to go through the mortals' moderns weapons of beauty such as cosmetic surgery and breast enhancement. There must be better and bigger things awaiting me, right? God must be trying to teach me to look beyond beauty and to look down into a person's heart right?

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