Sunday, December 4, 2016

Society should stop blaming women for low marriage rates and low fertility rates

Source: truthitself.com
This is a list of reasons that society blames the women for:

You are too busy to get married:
This is one of the accusation targeted at me, and perhaps at many other single women. At first, I thought it was so. I work from Monday to Friday in a professional day job and my weekends are packed full from morning to night with tutoring classes. Sometimes, on some nights of the weekdays, I have to give tuition as well, especially when it was near to the examination period. There is very little time for socialisation. But I can't help it because my family and myself need the money to survive. However, at a later time, I found that there is ABSOLUTELY NO TRUTH in this at all.

Some guys are even more busy. For example, I met an options trader before. On some days, he could be working 24 hours straight from his home (he's a self-employed). I have very little chance of meeting him. There's an IT manager working in a MNC who had multiple projects on hand and he couldn't even get himself enough sleep each day, let alone having the time for dating. There was a physical goods trader who work in a local Singapore trading company. He buys and sells spare car parts and entire cars and also commodities like coffee and tea. He has to fly around all over the world regularly and he has very little time for his friends and family, and of course, to set aside time for a girlfriend.

So, society should stop blaming women for procrastinating dating and marriage.

You are too career-minded:
Discrimination is very real and there's no financial security from men. Many employers are still treating employees as robot instead of humans. It is natural for people to get married and have children. Yet, pregnancy is not celebrated and is regarded as a nuisance for companies. They have lost sight that these babies may become future employees and consumers for their companies. So many women lose their jobs or have to sacrifice their career through demotion, or converting to part-time or completely quit their jobs. At the same time, as economic structure changes, men can't themselves guarantee they will have a job to support the family. Expecting women to sacrifice while providing no safety net or extra social assistance:

How to take care of a child when the finances to back the process up is not strong? How can women afford not to take care of their career which will give them a source of independent income from men?

Your expectations are too high:
Some of these men annoyed me. They accused me of having high expectation before even finding out what my expectations are. At first, they caught me offhand. I thought my expectations were really out of this world. But later, as I spoke to more married women, I found that my expectations were very typical, sometimes even lower than them. This is when I found that this assumption is wrong!

What's in my typical list of criteria:
No smoking
No drinking (social drinking is fine)
At least diploma education
Is employed
Hardworking
Able to talk in a matured manner
Taller than 1.65m
Not obese (a little overweight is ok)
Does not need to own a car
Caring
Loving
Respectful
Allow me to speak my mind
Chinese preferred

Many men already told me this list is typical. The criteria are not particular high. My conclusion is those men who said this list is too hard for them to achieve have probably been stagnant for a long time and these men are not worthy.

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