Why can't guys just say the truth?

Source: Twitter

This will just be a very short post.

If they are not interested, why can't they just say it out instead of suddenly disappearing without a word? Why they act more like gentlemen?

They want girls to figure out their intentions by themselves?

This is not just an act of rudeness, but of arrogance and cowardice, thinking that it's the girls who should be responsible for navigating every point in the development of relationship.

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You look above 40!

After I sent him my photo, that was his comment for me. I looked old. He hinted that I might be lying about my age.

I thought I would be meeting someone who cared only about beauty.

I was very angry. I asked him what could I gain by lying? I was a woman seeking out a relationship on the Internet. This was a dangerous act. I was more vulnerable than the guys. I called him up. Fortunately, he was honest enough to pick up my call and talk to me. I wanted to reason him out that I was seeking an honest relationship and I didn't wish to hide anything. That was why I sent him my photo to reveal who I was and also arranged to meet with him personally. I asked him, if I wanted to hide myself, there would be no need for me to meet with him. I could have just maintain a virtual online relationship with him instead. I even sent him an image of my identity card!

The good news was: we met up eventually and it turned out that he was a very nice guy! Only that he was very cautious about people on the Internet. That was the reason he was cautious about me initially.

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You want to rush?

Dear Mister,

Are you actually interested in getting to know me? Are you interested to seek a girlfriend for yourself too? 

You are acting more like a counsellor than a relationship seeker. I'm not here to seek your advice about how fast I want to find a boyfriend. Anyway, for your info, a friend of mine went out with a guy and she knew within that night itself that he was the one she would marry. Within a week, they married and they have been married ever since for more than a decade. You are here to see if I'm the one for you too, not to give me unwarranted relationship advice.

It's not about how fast or how slow one develops a relationship with another. It's about compatibility, the right one.

And Mister, you are showing me that you are an asshole because you assume that I want to rush to find a relationship without understanding that I have been trying to find a boyfriend for 7 years. Am i not taking my time?

You act as if that you know everything when you actually know nothing about someone else's life. You are too full of yourself. It is preciously because of men like you that girls like me waste our valuable time and valuable youth and have to stay single for such a long time.

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You are still young...umm...something wrong?

3 things wrong with this guy.

#1
Concerning my age, who is he to judge whether I'm old or young. This is subjective. To me, I feel more than 30 years old for women is really old. Because scientifically, the risk for pregnancy complications rises up exponentially after 30 years old. This is not a matter of personal opinion. There are real risks involved in being an old-age mum. This guy never thinks in terms of the women.

#2
And, even if you are not seeking a relationship with someone, how can you ask someone whether something is wrong with him or her when you just knew her? Truth is, I don't feel there's anything wrong with me. Even if there's really something wrong with me, why must I tell a stranger that I think something is wrong with me? And also, why is this assuming that it must be who is something wrong? Is it because he thinks the guys in this society are perfectly normal?

#3
Many people report that people are marrying older. Somehow, the statistics around me are different. Most of my friends are married around 26 or 27 years old. Even if some are not married yet, they are already attached. How can this guy tell me most people are not interested in getting married and having kids?

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Write it all down

Write. Don't Type.

When I visited my friend Helen last year in October 2016 and I told that I was prepared to stay single my whole life because at 31 years old and after nearly 7 years of searching, I still couldn't find a boyfriend, I told her maybe God had decided to give me a life path different from other women. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have someone in my life to spend the rest of my life with.

She was shocked. She told him not to say those kind of things. She was confident I would be able to find one soon.

She was a devout Christian because she had experienced God performing miracles on her, saving her from medical conditions and from complicated lawsuits. So she shared with me a lovely story that happened to one of her church friends,

This church friend of hers was a lady and she had a daughter who had problems initially finding a boyfriend. This mother was very concerned. She decided to write down all the desirable characteristics she wanted to see in her future son-in-law and she prayed hard very day for a man with all those qualities to appear soon. True enough, her prayers were listened. Within a year, this man came, with all the exact qualities that she had written down.

So she advised me to do the same, to write down all the qualities I wanted and to have a strong faith and belief that this man would appear. She told me there was power in writing down using pena nd paper and warned me not to type into a computer. She told me that all those relationships and terrible dates that I had been too were not meant for me. She told me when a relationship was the right one, everything would flow smoothly.

Actually I had already had a list of characteristics that I saved in my smartphone. But I did as she told, reluctantly, as I did not have a strong faith I would find one as my age was really catching up with. Nevertheless, I felt I had to give myself a try, another chance.

Still, time passed, month after month. Two months later, in December 2016, I met a guy who really came out and met me. He never cancelled dates at the last minute. We went out for dinners and lunches and toured museums together. He was a matured man. One month later in January this year, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I said yes.

Wow, so it does work!

Write yours too!

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More Singaporeans guys are not finding marriage with foreign brides and more Singaporeans brides are finding love with foreigners

As you can read from the blog title clearly, there's nothing wrong with Singapore women actually.

Singapore women are winning favours from men from developed countries in regions like the North America, Europe, Australia and New Zealand.

Singapore women are married to some of the most capable and successful men in the world. For example, the wife of Hong Kong international actor Chow Yun Fat is a Singaporean.

Source: Yahoo. Chow Yun Fat and his Singaporean wife Jasmine Tan Hui Lian

Singaporean women are educated, smart and take care of family very well too. This may be why they found favour with many successful men.

However, more and more Singaporean men are falling out of favour with local girls. As you can read from many of my blog posts, some of these men are like cavemen. They expect women to listen to them, to be child-bearing machines, to be a beauty. And now, even foreign brides from countries like Vietnam are no longer so attracted to them. Read this report by The Straits Times here.

Some reasons are the normal ones like getting a cultural shock when these foreign brides arrived in Singapore and could not speak normal the common languages like Chinese and English here.

But many foreign women also married just to get their permanent residency or even citizenship. So when the Singapore government decided to be tougher on such sham marriages, these foreign brides encountered more obstacles

When love is being abused because of money and being just a ticket to a greener pasture, it makes me feel sad.

We need spread more wisdom, more enlightenment in this world. Otherwise the human society would have difficulty progressing and always remaining barbaric.

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Sick men

So, I have a boyfriend now, a Chinese man with a proper education background, a proper, a nice friendly family, and someone with good attitude towards work and life.

So, I am a normal girl, a very normal young woman.

Yet, a few months ago in October 2016, a guy who saw my Locanto ad and contacted me, criticised me and said I was sick, therefore I was still single.

This was what happened:

He asked me why I was still single at 31 years old.

I told him  that I didn't know why.

He then proceeded to say my expectations were too high.

After this statement from him, I blasted all kinds of words at him

I told him that he hadn't asked what my expectations were, so it was not right for him to assume. I told him assuming means making an asshole of you and me. I told him not to assume that it was always the girls' fault if they couldn't find a boyfriend. I told him not to make silly judgement like that. I told him to reflect what he had just said. I told the guys also had problems and girls should not be blamed unnecessarily for still being single. I told him that sometimes it was the guys who had high expectations not the girls.

He then said, "u r sick".

After which, I rebutted him. I also said to him, "you are the sick one, not me".

Yes, I am sick. I am sick for standing up for what's right. I am sick for standing up to men who always assume they have no problem and it is always the females' problem and high expectations that are causing to be single.

It show me how ignorant, arrogant, chauvinistic a man you are! It also kinda show you are a simpleton.

Good luck to you in your search for a girlfriend. You won't be able to have me because I'm normal and you are sick.

Do you encounter sick men like that who always criticise women for being single? Let me know.

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That someone will appear soon

Ady, my friend from Malaysia, betted with me last year in November 2016 that he was sure that someone was out there for me and he would appear very soon. He was so confident.

We haven't even met before but he was sure about me getting a boyfriend "very soon". As you can see, I was very very skeptical. Ultimately, I was proven wrong and he was right. I have a boyfriend now, and he is what I'm looking for.

So, my friend, you are my boss now. I lost the bet. You win.

If you are still searching, I want to be a friend to you just like what my friend from Malaysia is to me. I may not have met you yet, but I will say the same thing to you:

Never give up.

Keep searching.

There's someone out there for you.

He will appear soon in front of you.

Very soon.

Sooner than you think.

And I'm willing to bet with you on that too!;-)

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The most boring and ordinary list of characteristics to look for in a boyfriend

Source: http://worldartsme.com/

Now and then, especially during festive season like Christmas, New Year or Chinese New Year, someone on Facebook would send me a message to wish me good luck, good health, happiness and prosperity for me and my husband and children. Then, I would thank them but told them that I was single and I had never been married nor did I have any children. I would also tell them that I didn't even have a boyfriend.

Almost always, they would be shocked and asked me, "You are over 30 years old. Why are you still not married? Are you expectations too high?

Usually, I would reply "I don't know why I'm not married". This is really from the bottom of my heart. I'm also very lazy to talk about it because I'm so tired explaining to people why I'm not married. I mean, I have done a lot. I have done all those that are within my control. I have learnt basic makeup skills so I can doll up myself presentably during dates. My complexion has really improved a lot since the time I graduated from university. I almost have no acne scars on my face. I wore skirts and feminine shoes. I have gone for many dates. I have chatted with so many guys. I have gone to the temples to pray. When I was in Israel for work, I even went to the West Wall (also called the Wailing Wall) to pray hard for a boyfriend. The tour guide was telling us a true love story that happened on him. He was trying to find a wife for a long time but shortly after he prayed at the West Wall, his wife appeared. So, I really don't know what happened. However, miracle still hasn't appeared. I really need to submit myself to God. There are just some things in this world which is divine. Gradually, I stopped being so hard on myself. I learn to take things easy and try not to tired myself out trying to seek an explanation that is impossible to find out. And so, all I can tell these people is, "I don't know".

My expectation is not high. This is a list of the characteristics I look out for. You will see that the criteria may even not be as stringent as some other women. So men, please stop your assumption and accusation that it is always the girl's fault for having high expectations. Maybe it's the guys who have unrealistic expectations causing many women like me to remain unattached for such a long time.

My list:

• Caring
• Loving
• Respectful
• Have a job
• Taller than I am, more than 1.65m
• Hardworking
• Don't smoke
• Don't drink
• Allow me to speak my mind
• Chinese preferred
• At least diploma education

What's yours?

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There are two types of real cheats

First Type:
There are some guys who chat very nicely with girls, full of sweet words that girls like to hear. Yet, they never have the intention of meeting the girls. They would say how much they wanted to meet you but when the actual date came, they would cancel at the last minute, not because they really had a legitimate reason but just some fake reasons that they could think of so that they didn't need to meet you.

And then, when you want to chat with them through the phone to listen to their voice, they come up with excuses like they are at work, so they cannot pick up the call. Are these guys think girls are such simpletons to believe their stories? Even if you are at work and cannot call, you can always give a call back at the end of the day?

This is the second time I encounter this kind of guy in my life. Thankfully, I saw through his tricks. In this post, I want you to know the tricks of this kind of guy. Beware of falling into their love traps. The only person who gets hurt is you only and that guy will be having his last laugh.

Second Type:
There are guys who tell you that they feel you are okay for them and then disappear without a word. I hated guys even more when they said they are straightforward and wouldn't waste anyone's time and yet when it came to making a decision to see if they wanted to continue to develop a deeper relationship with a girl, they couldn't bring themselves to tell the girl directly that they were not interested. Instead, they told the girls, like what this guy told me, that they were fine with them, giving the girls a false sense of being accepted and then disappeared without a word.

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