Wednesday, October 18, 2017

I'm taking a break


The last time I went for a break was late last year in 2016 because of heavy work commitment. This time I need to take a break again because I will be taking up a new job role.

In fact, I started working in this new company on 1st June 2017, so it has been almost 4 and a half months and I have been extremely busy. It is a Japanese global shipping company. There is a steep learning curve because most of the things that I am tasked to new are all things I have never really done before. I think I'll be very busy for a while and won't be able to focus on writing on this blog. In the meantime, I am really working hard to improve my appearance because I want to find new boyfriend soon. My existing boyfriend, although he is an easy-going person, is not someone I think I can go far with. Meanwhile I have heard more marriage stories around me and will be sharing with you soon.

Meanwhile, are there stories about dating and marriage you will like to hear about?

Comment below and I'll start writing about them after I've stabilised in my new job role and have the time to write. Also, do check out a few new blogs and projects which I wanted to start soon and they are:

  • Success with Sharon
  • Street Food Recipes of Singapore
  • Combat Diabetes and Healthy Lifestyle
  • Travel around the World and Charity
  • Online Tuition Service focused on STEM
  • (perhaps) Piano lessons (My Lifelong Passion!)
See ya soon.

Monday, August 28, 2017

Dating Nightmares: Today is the Chinese Valentine's Day! 七夕节快乐!

Source: tianjimedia.com
If you have missed the Valentine's Day earlier this year on 14 February because you haven't found that special someone in your life, you have another choice here to celebrate, if you have found your man. Today is the 7th day of the 7th lunar month of the Chinese calendar.

Little is known about our Chinese Valentine's Day, called the Qixi (七夕) Festival.

The Japanese also have their own Valentine's Day, called the Tanabata Festival. It originated from our Chinese Qixi Festival as well.

This festival comes from the story of the cowherd and weaver girl (牛郎织女). The earliest time this story had been found documented was during the the Han dynasty, about 200 years before birth of Christ. So this story has more than 2000 years of history.

The cowherd boy was a mortal while the weaver girl was an immortal fairy. One day, the weaver girl came down to earth from the heavens and fell in love with the cowherd boy. They married each other and have two lovely kids. Then, the weaver girl's mother, the goddess, found out about this outrageous act and was infuriated. An immortal and a mortal was not allowed to fall in love. She immediately commanded her daughter to return to the heavens. The weaver girl did, after which the goddess created a galaxy (the Milky Way) that separated the weaver girl from the cowherd and her two children. As years went by, the goddess took pity on them and allowed them to be reunited just for day in a year. On this day, countless magpie could fly in and form a bridge over the Milky Way and allow the devoted lovers to meet each other.

Here's a link to the complete story of The Cowherd Boy and the Weaver Girl.

It's a little sad reading about the story but the upside of this story is that it informs us that true love does surpass everything.

I hope that you have found your true love. If not, don't give up easily!

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Monday, May 29, 2017

What causes such a drastic break down in relationship?


Source: ClipartFest
I want to share with you a tragedy that happened in Singapore.

You can read the news article here: Thai woman jailed 5½ years for stomping Singaporean boyfriend to death.

In Singapore, two months ago in March 2017, a Thai woman killed her boyfriend by stomping him to death after a quarrel. What a horrible news!!!

If we read the headline only and if we have some pre-assumptions, we may be tempted to think that the woman must have been a crazy woman to have done such a terrible deed.

However, read the news in detail and you can see that when something like this happened, you can't just blame a single party. Although it sounded that the Thai woman didn't seem sane, she was in fact agitated by her boyfriend for a long period of time.

He was highly suspicious of her having sexual relationships with other men. He insulted her parents who were staying with them. I also have reasons to believe that they are other incidents in their lives that lead to tensions between the couple. As time passed and emotions built up, this culminated in the demise of the man.

I think they forgot about why they were together in the first place. Every time you have a quarrel, it is good to think about that. As humans, we are not in our perfect self 100% of the time. We do fail to function properly on certain days. If the mistakes are made unintentionally, then forgive and forget and move on.

However, if you think someone has changed permanently, and is being toxic to the relationship, why not have the courage to end it? If this Thai woman has more friends, has done work to widen her social group, I think she may have left her boyfriend and this incident may not have happened.

So here's another lessons to be learnt: have your own life. Having a boyfriend doesn't mean the world is all about him only. It is not. If the man doesn't allow you to have your life, I think it's time to consider leaving him.

How do you feel when you read such a piece of news?

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Friday, May 26, 2017

The Food of Love

Source: http://izquotes.com
Since Shakespeare compares food with love, is love a kind of flavour?

I think that Shakespeare hasn't complained explained the nature of love through this simplification.

I'm trying to think about what's common between the two.

And I think that the answer is spiritual.

Eating is not just physical thing. The Japanese say "Itakakimasu" to thank for the food before they start eating and "Gochisoosamadeshita" to thank for the food they have finished. There's a kind of spirit attached to food.

If love is just an emotional thing, it's not going to be transient.

But if it is something that comes from inside us, much like passion and persistence, it's going to be more long-lasting.

So love comes from sense of kindness, appreciation and purity that comes from inside us.

What do you think? What is love?

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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Don't go for handsome guys

Handsome guy. (Source: Pinterest)
About two months ago, I overheard my mum who was talking on the house phone about my younger sister. For those of you who have been following my blog, you would have known something unfortunately happened to my younger sister.

She had recently gone through a painful divorce and it wasn't even a reasonable divorce. Her ex-husband who was a Chinese young man from China wanted to file for a divorce not because he didn't find her compatible or because he had an extra-marital affairs (he did have, but it secondary to the primary reason). The primary reason I think is because he has obtained his Permanent Residency in Singapore. It was very obvious because he asked for a divorce as soon as he has obtained it!

I don't even think my sister's ex-husband is qualified to be a handsome man. Anyway, that's how my mum sees it to be.

So she was on the phone sharing that she had told my sister to look for normal looking guys because handsome guys were usually not genuine. (Whether that's true or not, you can mull over it over the weekend.)

Personally, I don't think it's totally true. I have already looked at so many wedding photos of my friends on Facebook and their husbands are so handsome. Their marriages seem stable because many of them have their children one or two years after their marriages. Some have one child and others have two children. A few have even three now.

I think whether or not a guy is handsome or not, we need to go below their surface and feel from our intuition whether this guy is real or fake, genuine or a fraud. You have to step away from your emotions for a while and look at things with a level head.

One thing that I don't feel my mum is being fair towards my sister is that she seems to be blaming my sister when I feel that she needs to take half of the blame. 8 years ago when the guy proposed to marry my sister, I told my mum to say no, at least for a year, to test their relationship. However, she refused. She told me she would accept all responsibilities if anything happened. All my other family members including my father and my grandfather objected in view that they needed more time to assess this guy. My mum agreed and pushed ahead with the marriage despite all our objections.

So things have turned sour. My mum didn't accept full responsibility and blamed my sister for going after guys who  were handsome. If she had said no 8 years ago, the tragedy today might never have happened.

Life has to go on. This divorce has dealt a huge blow to my sister. I hope time will heal her broken heart.

Good luck to the rest of you!

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Saturday, May 20, 2017

When are you getting married, teacher?

Marriage bells. (Source: Pinterest)
I have a very adorable student who asked me that question. As you can see, some of my students can be quite a busybody.

I asked why were you so eager to see me getting married? I told her my mum didn't even ask that question on me.

You know what her cute answer was?

"Teacher, if you get married, then I will have a lot of nice food to eat!"

Yes, my student loves to eat. She's a glutton and can see all day long!

She said why I hadn't married even though I was already more than 30 years old. She said she wanted to get married by 23, just like her mother and have three children. As far as I can see, people DO want to marry young. It's not the same picture as that painted by the government of my country, Singapore, where people's mindset has changed and they want to put career first. Yes, I agree to some extent because some people do think that way but many do want to marry young.

So I told her marriage is not that simple nowadays, especially in Singapore, where cost of living is high and our salary is not matching up! Money is needed to buy house and provide a stable sustenance which is very important if we are going to raise children.

I will be waiting for that big day to eventually come. In the mean time, I hope for the best.

I hope you see your big day coming soon too.

Good luck!

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Wednesday, May 17, 2017

The relationships in our societies are breaking down?


(News Story Source: The Courier Mail)

Maybe it's because Singapore is a "modern" open city that it opens itself up to all kinds of people, some of whom are really up to no good.

Two weeks ago when I was a attending a language workshop, I shared about my sister's divorce case. It was not a case of relationship becoming cold, but it was because it was meant to be a set up from the beginning. The guy asked for a divorce as soon as he received his permanent resident status in Singapore.

So the lady whom I shared this story with reciprocated and told me a similar story that happened to some of her girl friends. She said these kinds of stories are very common nowadays and we needed to be very careful in who we chose to have a relationship with.

I'm disappointed that our society has degraded to such a state where relationship has become a means for financial gains. But I understand we need not let those kinds of unscrupulous men take advantage. It's a matter of whose stronger and smarter. If we women become wiser and learn to discern those insincere men, these people would soon lose their market and disappear from among us

Let us all be very careful in whom we choose.

Good luck!

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Sunday, May 14, 2017

People take relationship very lightly in these days

Source: https://wall.alphacoders.com/
As I was still receiving Whatsapp messages from men who saw my ads on Locanto, and as I was in a relatively steady relationship with my boyfriend, I decided to expire those ads. Still, I receive messages now and then but much fewer now though.

I found that there were some men who took relationship so lightly. The first question can ask is: Can I be your boyfriend? Or, can you be my girlfriend?

Come on. You and I don't know each other and you think I'm just going to say YES?

These guys don't know what relationship is and are looking for instant condiments to quickly flavour their taste buds.

In this age of rapid technological development, we are always told to change things quickly, to look forward and adapt to survive. I agree to change, if is it good for us.

However, good relationship is something I won't compromise. It has been shown that have good relationships maintain the harmony and stability of society, helping to reduce mental problems. I would say I won't want to have any changes to the basic nature of relationship.

Relationship needs to be taken seriously. It needs time to nurture and develop. If there's one thing in this world that shouldn't change, relationship will be the one.

I look forward to a world where people take time away from work more often to spend the limited time they have with their family, loved ones and good friends.

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Thursday, May 11, 2017

How do you feel when your friends updated about their marriage on FB?

Just Married. Source: Pinterest
My friends are mostly in the early 30s age group.

Many of them have posted photos of their weddings on their Facebook. I have several especially these last 2-3 years.

Many of my ex-colleagues too who are in their 30s have done the same.

My schoolmates as well.

Not only that, many of them have their first child, several having a second one, and a few their third.

I'm full of best wishes for them because they have all moved on to another stage of their lives.

I wonder why many people could have a normal life and a few like me felt being left out.

Why is God so cruel? Isn't he supposed to be there to uplift all of us?

More than ten years ago, I started to find a boyfriend. You know how the story went if you have followed this blog. And it was only at the beginning of this year 2017 that I finally found one.

If it has taken me so long to find a boyfriend, when will be my wedding day?

When will be the day I start a family?

Plus, God has put me in a poor family and I have to put money and survival first before anything else.

When can I start to live the dreams that all other girls are living?

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Monday, May 8, 2017

He didn't forsake me!

Look to the future because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. (Source: QuotesGram)
A few days ago, I wrote that I had to give up this good man in my life because of the family burden that I am still shouldering now.

I told him off.

He was angry but he also told me he wanted to build a future with me. He told me that those problems of mine belong to my parents' generation and it was wrong for them to push their problems to me.

I said okay.

So we are still together and working hard to make a future for ourselves and to be freed from my parents' problems.

I'm very grateful to have this man in my life. He truly loves me for who I am. He is truly a caring person and a responsible and sensible man.

If you haven't found someone like this, I'm sure you will be able to find one soon.

Good luck!

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Friday, May 5, 2017

It's my fault now

Source:wisdompills.com
Now, I've been blaming guys a lot now.

But this post is different.

I have only myself to blame.

With my poor looks, thin figure, poor job and future prospects, poor health and coming from a bad family background, whichever guy I'm with will suffer.

I thought I'm in a position to be in love, to think about romance, love and marriage. But no.

With family members hounding me to give back every cent that they have spent on me will take me a lifetime of responsibility and suffering.

Where else do I find the energy to take care of my career, health and start a family.

I'm always so tired.

I have to let go of this good guy two months ago.

I have to know my place in this life is to suffer, not to enjoy the best that life can bring.

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Tuesday, May 2, 2017

"money is the most important thing"


It's 2nd May, one day after Labour Day. I hope you have a good day of rest for the past 1 year of hard work. If you are reading this post, thank you very much for your attention and time. I hope it may amuse you a little and make your day a little funnier with anecdotes from my dating experiences.

How can money be THE MOST important thing?

It IS IMPORTANT, but not the most important.

Money can support healthy relationship by bringing food to family, paying for the utilities and house loan so that a family can have a proper place to stay and have the means to sustain itself.

However, there are intangibles to the quality of a relationship such as love and care that money alone cannot provide. Love and care are independent of money and can be provided even when a family is poor.

I'm sorry, you are not the type of guy I'm seeking.

Do you agree that this guy is right? What is your philosophy about relationship? Leave a comment below.

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Saturday, April 29, 2017

Why can't guys just say the truth?

Source: Twitter
This will just be a very short post.

If they are not interested, why can't they just say it out instead of suddenly disappearing without a word? Why they act more like gentlemen?

They want girls to figure out their intentions by themselves?

This is not just an act of rudeness, but of arrogance and cowardice, thinking that it's the girls who should be responsible for navigating every point in the development of relationship.

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Wednesday, April 26, 2017

You look above 40!

After I sent him my photo, that was his comment for me. I looked old. He hinted that I might be lying about my age.

I thought I would be meeting someone who cared only about beauty.

I was very angry. I asked him what could I gain by lying? I was a woman seeking out a relationship on the Internet. This was a dangerous act. I was more vulnerable than the guys. I called him up. Fortunately, he was honest enough to pick up my call and talk to me. I wanted to reason him out that I was seeking an honest relationship and I didn't wish to hide anything. That was why I sent him my photo to reveal who I was and also arranged to meet with him personally. I asked him, if I wanted to hide myself, there would be no need for me to meet with him. I could have just maintain a virtual online relationship with him instead. I even sent him an image of my identity card!

The good news was: we met up eventually and it turned out that he was a very nice guy! Only that he was very cautious about people on the Internet. That was the reason he was cautious about me initially.

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Sunday, April 23, 2017

You want to rush?

Dear Mister,

Are you actually interested in getting to know me? Are you interested to seek a girlfriend for yourself too? 

You are acting more like a counsellor than a relationship seeker. I'm not here to seek your advice about how fast I want to find a boyfriend. Anyway, for your info, a friend of mine went out with a guy and she knew within that night itself that he was the one she would marry. Within a week, they married and they have been married ever since for more than a decade. You are here to see if I'm the one for you too, not to give me unwarranted relationship advice.

It's not about how fast or how slow one develops a relationship with another. It's about compatibility, the right one.

And Mister, you are showing me that you are an asshole because you assume that I want to rush to find a relationship without understanding that I have been trying to find a boyfriend for 7 years. Am i not taking my time?

You act as if that you know everything when you actually know nothing about someone else's life. You are too full of yourself. It is preciously because of men like you that girls like me waste our valuable time and valuable youth and have to stay single for such a long time.

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Thursday, April 20, 2017

You are still young...umm...something wrong?


3 things wrong with this guy.

#1
Concerning my age, who is he to judge whether I'm old or young. This is subjective. To me, I feel more than 30 years old for women is really old. Because scientifically, the risk for pregnancy complications rises up exponentially after 30 years old. This is not a matter of personal opinion. There are real risks involved in being an old-age mum. This guy never thinks in terms of the women.

#2
And, even if you are not seeking a relationship with someone, how can you ask someone whether something is wrong with him or her when you just knew her? Truth is, I don't feel there's anything wrong with me. Even if there's really something wrong with me, why must I tell a stranger that I think something is wrong with me? And also, why is this assuming that it must be who is something wrong? Is it because he thinks the guys in this society are perfectly normal?

#3
Many people report that people are marrying older. Somehow, the statistics around me are different. Most of my friends are married around 26 or 27 years old. Even if some are not married yet, they are already attached. How can this guy tell me most people are not interested in getting married and having kids?

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Monday, April 17, 2017

Write it all down

Write. Don't Type.
When I visited my friend Helen last year in October 2016 and I told that I was prepared to stay single my whole life because at 31 years old and after nearly 7 years of searching, I still couldn't find a boyfriend, I told her maybe God had decided to give me a life path different from other women. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have someone in my life to spend the rest of my life with.

She was shocked. She told him not to say those kind of things. She was confident I would be able to find one soon.

She was a devout Christian because she had experienced God performing miracles on her, saving her from medical conditions and from complicated lawsuits. So she shared with me a lovely story that happened to one of her church friends,

This church friend of hers was a lady and she had a daughter who had problems initially finding a boyfriend. This mother was very concerned. She decided to write down all the desirable characteristics she wanted to see in her future son-in-law and she prayed hard very day for a man with all those qualities to appear soon. True enough, her prayers were listened. Within a year, this man came, with all the exact qualities that she had written down.

So she advised me to do the same, to write down all the qualities I wanted and to have a strong faith and belief that this man would appear. She told me there was power in writing down using pena nd paper and warned me not to type into a computer. She told me that all those relationships and terrible dates that I had been too were not meant for me. She told me when a relationship was the right one, everything would flow smoothly.

Actually I had already had a list of characteristics that I saved in my smartphone. But I did as she told, reluctantly, as I did not have a strong faith I would find one as my age was really catching up with. Nevertheless, I felt I had to give myself a try, another chance.

Still, time passed, month after month. Two months later, in December 2016, I met a guy who really came out and met me. He never cancelled dates at the last minute. We went out for dinners and lunches and toured museums together. He was a matured man. One month later in January this year, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I said yes.

Wow, so it does work!

Write yours too!

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Friday, April 14, 2017

More Singaporeans guys are not finding marriage with foreign brides and more Singaporeans brides are finding love with foreigners

As you can read from the blog title clearly, there's nothing wrong with Singapore women actually.

Singapore women are winning favours from men from developed countries in regions like the North America, Europe, Australia and New Zealand.

Singapore women are married to some of the most capable and successful men in the world. For example, the wife of Hong Kong international actor Chow Yun Fat is a Singaporean.
Source: Yahoo. Chow Yun Fat and his Singaporean wife Jasmine Tan Hui Lian
Singaporean women are educated, smart and take care of family very well too. This may be why they found favour with many successful men.

However, more and more Singaporean men are falling out of favour with local girls. As you can read from many of my blog posts, some of these men are like cavemen. They expect women to listen to them, to be child-bearing machines, to be a beauty. And now, even foreign brides from countries like Vietnam are no longer so attracted to them. Read this report by The Straits Times here.

Some reasons are the normal ones like getting a cultural shock when these foreign brides arrived in Singapore and could not speak normal the common languages like Chinese and English here.

But many foreign women also married just to get their permanent residency or even citizenship. So when the Singapore government decided to be tougher on such sham marriages, these foreign brides encountered more obstacles

When love is being abused because of money and being just a ticket to a greener pasture, it makes me feel sad.

We need spread more wisdom, more enlightenment in this world. Otherwise the human society would have difficulty progressing and always remaining barbaric.

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Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Sick men


So, I have a boyfriend now, a Chinese man with a proper education background, a proper, a nice friendly family, and someone with good attitude towards work and life.

So, I am a normal girl, a very normal young woman.

Yet, a few months ago in October 2016, a guy who saw my Locanto ad and contacted me, criticised me and said I was sick, therefore I was still single.

This was what happened:

He asked me why I was still single at 31 years old.

I told him  that I didn't know why.

He then proceeded to say my expectations were too high.

After this statement from him, I blasted all kinds of words at him

I told him that he hadn't asked what my expectations were, so it was not right for him to assume. I told him assuming means making an asshole of you and me. I told him not to assume that it was always the girls' fault if they couldn't find a boyfriend. I told him not to make silly judgement like that. I told him to reflect what he had just said. I told the guys also had problems and girls should not be blamed unnecessarily for still being single. I told him that sometimes it was the guys who had high expectations not the girls.

He then said, "u r sick".

After which, I rebutted him. I also said to him, "you are the sick one, not me".

Yes, I am sick. I am sick for standing up for what's right. I am sick for standing up to men who always assume they have no problem and it is always the females' problem and high expectations that are causing to be single.
It show me how ignorant, arrogant, chauvinistic a man you are! It also kinda show you are a simpleton.

Good luck to you in your search for a girlfriend. You won't be able to have me because I'm normal and you are sick.

Do you encounter sick men like that who always criticise women for being single? Let me know.

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Saturday, April 8, 2017

That someone will appear soon



Ady, my friend from Malaysia, betted with me last year in November 2016 that he was sure that someone was out there for me and he would appear very soon. He was so confident.

We haven't even met before but he was sure about me getting a boyfriend "very soon". As you can see, I was very very skeptical. Ultimately, I was proven wrong and he was right. I have a boyfriend now, and he is what I'm looking for.

So, my friend, you are my boss now. I lost the bet. You win.

If you are still searching, I want to be a friend to you just like what my friend from Malaysia is to me. I may not have met you yet, but I will say the same thing to you:

Never give up.

Keep searching.

There's someone out there for you.

He will appear soon in front of you.

Very soon.

Sooner than you think.

And I'm willing to bet with you on that too!;-)

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Wednesday, April 5, 2017

The most boring and ordinary list of characteristics to look for in a boyfriend

Source: http://worldartsme.com/
Now and then, especially during festive season like Christmas, New Year or Chinese New Year, someone on Facebook would send me a message to wish me good luck, good health, happiness and prosperity for me and my husband and children. Then, I would thank them but told them that I was single and I had never been married nor did I have any children. I would also tell them that I didn't even have a boyfriend.

Almost always, they would be shocked and asked me, "You are over 30 years old. Why are you still not married? Are you expectations too high?

Usually, I would reply "I don't know why I'm not married". This is really from the bottom of my heart. I'm also very lazy to talk about it because I'm so tired explaining to people why I'm not married. I mean, I have done a lot. I have done all those that are within my control. I have learnt basic makeup skills so I can doll up myself presentably during dates. My complexion has really improved a lot since the time I graduated from university. I almost have no acne scars on my face. I wore skirts and feminine shoes. I have gone for many dates. I have chatted with so many guys. I have gone to the temples to pray. When I was in Israel for work, I even went to the West Wall (also called the Wailing Wall) to pray hard for a boyfriend. The tour guide was telling us a true love story that happened on him. He was trying to find a wife for a long time but shortly after he prayed at the West Wall, his wife appeared. So, I really don't know what happened. However, miracle still hasn't appeared. I really need to submit myself to God. There are just some things in this world which is divine. Gradually, I stopped being so hard on myself. I learn to take things easy and try not to tired myself out trying to seek an explanation that is impossible to find out. And so, all I can tell these people is, "I don't know".

My expectation is not high. This is a list of the characteristics I look out for. You will see that the criteria may even not be as stringent as some other women. So men, please stop your assumption and accusation that it is always the girl's fault for having high expectations. Maybe it's the guys who have unrealistic expectations causing many women like me to remain unattached for such a long time.

My list:
  • Caring
  • Loving
  • Respectful
  • Have a job
  • Taller than I am, more than 1.65m
  • Hardworking
  • Don't smoke
  • Don't drink
  • Allow me to speak my mind
  • Chinese preferred
  • At least diploma education
What's yours?

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Sunday, April 2, 2017

There are two types of real cheats

First Type:
There are some guys who chat very nicely with girls, full of sweet words that girls like to hear. Yet, they never have the intention of meeting the girls. They would say how much they wanted to meet you but when the actual date came, they would cancel at the last minute, not because they really had a legitimate reason but just some fake reasons that they could think of so that they didn't need to meet you.

And then, when you want to chat with them through the phone to listen to their voice, they come up with excuses like they are at work, so they cannot pick up the call. Are these guys think girls are such simpletons to believe their stories? Even if you are at work and cannot call, you can always give a call back at the end of the day?

This is the second time I encounter this kind of guy in my life. Thankfully, I saw through his tricks. In this post, I want you to know the tricks of this kind of guy. Beware of falling into their love traps. The only person who gets hurt is you only and that guy will be having his last laugh.













Second Type:
There are guys who tell you that they feel you are okay for them and then disappear without a word. I hated guys even more when they said they are straightforward and wouldn't waste anyone's time and yet when it came to making a decision to see if they wanted to continue to develop a deeper relationship with a girl, they couldn't bring themselves to tell the girl directly that they were not interested. Instead, they told the girls, like what this guy told me, that they were fine with them, giving the girls a false sense of being accepted and then disappeared without a word.


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Thursday, March 30, 2017

It's just maybe, not an affirmative yes

This guy asked for my preferred time, date, and venue. I regretted telling him my preference because I felt it was a waste of time. What is the point of me telling you my preference when it is your preference that matters more? 



Something is very wrong with the head of this guy. "I don't know that you are so busy." So what was he actually assuming? He was saying "everyone is busy" but then he didn't think I was busy. What's wrong with him? The most important issue is, even if I'm not so busy, does it give you the right to set a date and time to meet and then cancel at the last minute? This guy has already said the date and time are okay for him, only venue was not so convenient. Yet he just unilaterally cancelled the date without proposing another location. What's strange also was that he agreed to the date and time and then at the last minute informed me that it was inconvenient for him. He could have the courtesy and the decency to apologies for inappropriately agreeing to the date and time instead of pushing the blame on me and said the time and date that I proposed was not good for him when he didn't object to it in the first place.




People of course need to work. Are you saying you are a person and needs to work but I'm not a person and doesn't need to work? And yes, I set the area and timing because you asked me to set my preferred time and date. Then you come around and blame me for not setting the date and time that are suitable for you. What a foolish man!

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Monday, March 27, 2017

Karung guni - The rubbish man

Karung guni is a Singapore colloquial term referring to men who collect used cardboard, newspapers, magazines and other used items from shops and households.
After chatting so many "rubbish" type of men, I wonder what the problem with me is.

Am I such a rubbish woman so much so that God is only willing to send me rubbish men?

Or is God testing me?

Is God just sending these men to test my character and patience before he sends me the right one for me?

I don't know.

I just know these kinds of men are not the type I envision in my mind.

I have been telling God for some time that I will never marry a low quality man no matter how desperate I am.

I have worked hard all my life, whether it's studies or career. I have sought to learn new things every single day. Why should I deserve men who have no standards?

May this period be just a time of trials and tribulations that I will finally walk out of.

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Friday, March 24, 2017

Only busy men are left

One of the many busy guys whom I chatted with

Another guy just told me he wouldn't be able to meet due to work - why don't I just submit to fate or destiny?

Ever since I posted an ad on Locanto seeking a boyfriend, only the busy men, Indian/Bangladeshi men, uneducated men, unemployed men, old men or young men in their early twenties would contact me.

I don't know what these men are thinking. If they are so busy, why do they bother to contact girls? They are not going to be ready to go out to dates with the girls! Are they thinking they can build a relationship through WeChat or WhatsApp?

Crazy men!

Don't they have the decency to consider that they are wasting both their time and the girls' time if they are not ready to date?

The world of dating gets smaller as my age catches up. Guys who are free are already taken up by other women. Only the busy men, those that other women don't have the chance to cross path with, are left, together with other low quality men that other women don't fancy.

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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

We're not meant to be

There are some girls in this world who can find boyfriends very easily. In the past, I have heard conversations on the trains when I was commuting that that so-and-so girl broke up with her ex-boyfriend the previous week but found a new one the next.

I often listened to stories with envy.

How can a girl find a compatible guy so quickly? Are there always so many compatible guys around her? Why is she so lucky to have these guys around her for her to pick and choose?

As I get to know more guys, I find that there are so many factors to consider.

For example, one of the examples is his education background. I don't discriminate potential partners according to their education background. This is why I chat with men with primary school education, secondary school, high school education, degree holders like me, or even those who have higher degrees. Education is only one aspect of a person. It is not enough to know an entire person. There are successful businessmen who have very little formal education. So, I don't see education as the most important criterion. However, I find that the way men who have at least a high school education or polytechnic education will have a similar world view as I and that scores a point in evaluating whether we are compatible with each other.

Another factor is their professions. In general, certain kinds of jobs attract people with certain characters. For example, sales & marketing people are more extrovert and impatient. I'm an introvert but I don't mind going out with an extrovert. But some men are very particular about whether a girl is extrovert or introvert. So this can make or break a conversation.

The third factor is their personality and the way they talk with you. These give you a hint of their true character. There are some men who don't know how to talk or who are not sincere in the way they communicate. There are some men who talk nonsense. Guys who are compatible with you make your day when you talk to him

The fourth is having common goals and dreams. I think one reason why my current boyfriend has chosen me to be his girlfriend is because we both have dreams of wanting to earn big money and give our parents a good life. We both want to have children. We both place equal importance on family and career. We aim to leave corporate one day.

The fifth is family background. Different kinds of family raise children with different habits. In my family, I'm taught to repair and reuse old stuff until they have absolutely no value. However, some man may be disgusted with this kind of practice. To me, this kind of habit is normal and looking at the big picture, it can help us to reduce waste and spend less money. Some people always like to have new stuff. My current boyfriend came from a poor childhood as well, so we are very careful when buying and using stuff.

The sixth is time, that is, his availability. Availability is a measure of his sincerity. In all the past relationships, I have to beg the guy to meet me. Like a female friend who told me recently, the right guy would be someone where everything ran smoothly. For while, I didn't believe her. But now, I do. I do not have to beg my current boyfriend to meet me. He took the initiative to ask me out for dinners. He took the initiative to invite me to join his family for dinner. He asked me about my day. He's genuinely interested in whatever I'm doing. Whenever I want to go out during the weekend, he would join me. We trekked in the nature reserves and strolled in various parks together.

The final one is comfort. How he looks, how he carries himself, how he talks to you and other people. The combined feeling of all the factors above.

I understand some of us are not meant to be together. If so, say so and don't beat around the bush.

We're not meant to be. Took this guy two weeks to reveal his true intentions. All the time I thought we were okay.

Had a difficult time talking with this guy. I told him I started a Facebook fan page to promote travelling to Singapore. Who do you think the target audience of my fan page will be? It is travellers from other countries outside of Singapore that I'm looking at. However, this guy was telling there's such a small population in Singapore and questioning me the value of gathering many likes on the fan page. I told him this is not for Singapore people. It's for people all over the world and there are 7 billion people. Yet, he was telling me that having 100 likes on the page is having too many followers. He's not making sense. Of course, we cannot continue our conversation anymore from that point.
This guy doesn't have time for building a relationship. He's not ready yet he still wants to contact me. I told him not to waste his or mine time. This guy has not heart and space in his life for relationship. Even though he has already built up the foundation for his career, he continued to pour his time and effort into it. One day, when he retires, he will realise that his job is gone and he has no one by his side to share his life with. He will realise then that he's blinded by career and money.
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