Fake Guys Who Keep You Hanging On

www.pinterest.com

That quote above is very close to my heart.

I don't know the mindset of these guys.

Either they are genuine and do not want to be direct to the girls because they are afraid of hurting the girls' heart or they are out for an ulterior motive which may be to kill their time or to have a more exciting affairs on top of their existing relationship with another woman.

I ended another relationship.

The same type of relationship as I had for the past 7 years.

I've been trying to avoid and every year I use more criteria to screen out the fake guys from the genuine ones but I keep getting the fake ones.

Their modus operandi is very similar:

First, they will be very sweet to win my heart. They will say they are the last man I ever will need. We will chat on Facebook Messenger/Whatsapp/WeChat. We would chat very happily. He would make me feel that I have finally found the right man.

Next, they will arrange for a date. Two things can happen, depending on the type of guy. One scenario is that the guy will arrange for a date. He will also confirm the date one day before the actual date, assuring me that they are genuine. However, on the actual date and time, I will usually need to call them and ask them where they are and usually I will get answers like "I have a meeting and cannot meet you" or "I am not feeling well and have a headache". I will say okay usually to give them the benefit of doubt. They will usually tell me that we will meet next time soon. However, one or two weeks will pass or even one or two months will pass and I don't hear from them anymore.

Another type is smarter. They will usually behave like a normal boyfriend in the beginning few months. They will proactively ask me out for dates or for walks in parks. But after a few months, they suddenly change. They will suddenly stop contacting me. I will usually call them after about 2 weeks and they will tell me they are busy with work. I will wait for 1 month to give them a call again. They will say they are still busy. Two months later, three months later, six months later they will still say the same thing. Even if I manage to set up a date on a particular day and time and place, at the agreed time, they will always fail to turn up and even refuse to take phone calls. I have been left waiting for nothing for many times.

Moreover, when they finally pick up the phone, I will usually vent my anger at what they are doing and I get a lash back from them, saying I'm too fussy or that they have mis-communicated and I have heard wrongly and one even said I'm sick to scream at him over the phone. He was the one who told me that he was free any time on a particular day so I thought I could finally meet him that day. But at the stipulated time, he did not come as I suspected. I called him for half an hour before he sent me an SMS to inform me that he had gone to the mosque for prayer and could not meet me. I scolded him over the SMS and continued to call. He scolded me back and said he didn't like people who talk too much. This made me even more angry because he was wrong in the first place and didn't apologise and still criticise me for scolding him. He blocked me from calling him for a few days. This was the guy I finally ended communication with a few days ago.

I am willing to give guys a fair chance, just as I have given myself a fair chance to meet legitimate guys. The most frustrating thing is to have guys criticise me for being so cautious when I have my rights to protect myself from harm.

I cannot advise guys not to behave this way because there are always some black sheep, just that I don't know why I get the black sheep all the time. The best advice from me would be to women to become smarter and screen out those who want to get to know you for their bad intention or to stop the relationship as soon as you can if you suspect you are already in such a relationship.

Like what you read? Why not share it with your friends in your favourite social network? Click one of the social media buttons below to start sharing. Do you have similar stories? Use the "Contact Me!" contact form in the side bar and tell me more about it.

If you like this blog, subscribe to my newsletter! Click this link.
Read my eBook too. Download "Dating Nightmares in a Metropolitan City" here!